Unabletothinkofname Reviews/Bashes: Morbid Angel: Illud Divinum Insanus

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Unabletothinkofname Reviews/Bashes: Morbid Angel: Illud Divinum Insanus

Post by Unabletothinkofname on Sun Jun 19, 2011 8:52 pm

UNABLETOTHINKOFNAME REVIEWS
MORBID ANGEL: ILLUD DIVINUM INSANUS


...

Some of you who know me may know that for some reason I take bad music rather personally. It's probably because music is my main passion in life and one of the only things I really, deeply care about. Often it's the band that tells me whether an album's going to be good or not. I go into most...some...all albums with an open mind, though.

However, this time, the band's not the bad part, as is mostly the case. In fact, the band are one of my favorite bands and one of the most revered death metal bands of all time. I'd been looking forward to the new album for quite some time: their first in eight years, and first with original vocalist/bassist David Vincent since 1995's ferocious Domination. I was very, very excited.

...unfortunately, we got Illud Divinum Insanus.

THE REVIEW

Oh, boy. Where to start.

It opens fairly well, to its credit. Omni Potens is a classic MA intro, thumping drums and Dave Vincent's distant bellow accompanied by doomy orchestral keyboards. It set the tone rather nicely for the album, or would have, had I not heard the other tracks first. If you'd put on the album with no prior knowledge you'd probably get even more excited for what was to come. It will not last. Towards the end of the track it gets simply bloody silly and starts sounding like the soundtrack to Age Of Empires II, then...it begins.

Too Extreme!? Seriously? What the fuck?

Any classic MA atmosphere built up by the title track disappears as soon as the shitty, outdated techno blasts start. Then...I'm actually at a loss for words for how to describe it. That does not happen to me. Then Dave Vincent starts...squealing, is the only word to describe it, and the bass drifts off into...something that sounds like a Mechanical Animals era Marilyn Manson being buttfucked by a shit James Bond ripoff soundtrack. If this is sounding good to you, you've never heard Morbid Angel before. And you're a fuckwit. It sounds like, to quote a friend of mine, "It's like Al Jourgensen taking a musical shit in a bin full of broken robots." And the lyrics? Don't even get me started...but we'll get back to that.


You can pull off wearing a neon pentagram shirt, Dave, but you can't pull off techno. Sorry.

The worst part? It's six fucking minutes long. I turned it off after three, following the arbitrary "skip ahead by 30 seconds and see if it improves". It doesn't. The same outdated techno beat that sounds like something I made on my PS1 15 years ago keeps up throughout the entire song. Dave Vincent said this would "reinvent extremity" when it came out. ...he was wrong.

The truth is, some of Illud isn't even that bad. The vicious blastbeats of Existo Vulgore are pure classic Morbid Angel, with new drummer Tim Yeung (formerly of Hate Eternal and deathgrinders Terrorizer) thoroughly earning his chops with his inhumanly fast kick-drum abuse, particularly on the next track Blades For Baal. But some of the songs just feel overlong. In fact, they all do. Overlong and uninspired. This is the same band that pioneered and challenged the boundaries of death metal (in a good way!) with their first four albums. And now they're putting out...this. If they'd put out an entire album of songs that sounded like Blades For Baal, the fans, like me, would have been pleased. But they didn't.

After those two rather good songs, the album takes another desperately severe nosedive with I Am Morbid. It's free of techno, sure, but the lyrics...ugh. The music's some of the most incredibly uninspired death I've ever heard, a ham-fisted attempt at anthemic call-to-arms chest beating metal (with some truly awful wah pedal abuse), and more of Dave's cringe-incuding lyrics "Morbid! Morbid! And sordid!" 10 More Dead is more of the same. It's like they're attempting to be both a crappy industrial sleaze band and the classic, untouchable death metal act they once were.

Are they just trying to bore us into submission? The 7 minutes of Destructos VS The Earth/Attack (sorry, what?) are incredibly boring and horribly, horribly cliched. This isn't even death metal even more. This is satire. It sounds like a Devin Townsend joke track from Ziltoid The Omniscient. Can the lyrics possibly be serious? "Desctructos marching on man! We're marching! We're marching!" with some infuriating high-pitched alien voice repeating "Destructos!" in the background. He actually uses the word "Destructonation"! What the actual fuck?! Is this a joke? Tell me this is a fucking joke! PLEASE!


This owl pretty much sums up my thoughts.

The blistering Nevermore almost, almost makes up for that pile of horse cock. But again, like Existo Vulgore, it sounds uninspired, and at five minutes, it's just too long. It's not that they can't maintain the momentum, because they can: it's just that very little happens in the space of time it's going on. Same with the next track, Beauty Meets Beast: obscenely fast bass drums and hate-filled roaring never have sounded so boring. But I'd take any other song on the album; hell, any other song in the known universe over the next one.

Radikult. Wow.

Even the title, guys. RADIKULT! YEAH! BECAUSE IT'S 1992! And you'd assume so from the bargain bin drum machine they seem to be using. I think it's the lyrics, really, that enrage me more than anything else. Just...you need to listen to understand it. I can't put into words how utterly awful it is. In the metal community it's become the equivalent of a rickroll. I might expect such lyrical puke as "LIVIN' HARDCORE RADIKULT!" (ugh) from Nickelback or the like. But this is Morbid fucking Angel! Pioneers of death metal! Not some D-grade Marilyn Manson ripoff with lyrics written by an angry 12-year-old! I have absolutely no qualms, speaking as a person who's been subjected at length to truly awful music, as one of the worst songs ever written.

I don't even want to write about this anymore. The last song is called Profundis - Mea Culpa. Mea Culpa is Latin for I'm sorry. You better be sorry. Dave bellows "I accept all of the blame! Mea Culpa!" You could have apologized by not making this album. The song? What do you think? It's more shitty uninspired techno beats with something that sounds desperately like a joke track in the background. Much like the rest of the album.

The TL;DR


As some of you may know I listen to albums while I review them, just to get another feel for them. I've just finished listening to Illud (though I skipped halfway through most of the tracks) and I'm now listening to Dominate from Domination and wondering where it all went wrong. After Dave Vincent quit in 1996 he joined his wife's band Genitorturers, who sound...quite a bit like Illud, actually. But, actually half-decent. If Dave and guitarist Trey Azagthoth had put this out as a joke or some kind of teaser for the new album meant to be taken as a joke, I'd be fine with it because we'd have a real album of unbridled Morbid Angel fury to look forward to. But we don't. This is it. This is what we've waited eight fucking years for. And it's sickening. They're puking on a revered and enviable musical legacy with an album that sounds like it was made in 1995 for a laugh by an amateur thrash metal band. Not Morbid fucking Angel. Do not buy this. Don't even look the songs up on Youtube, unless you need to laugh. If you're a Morbid Angel fan, you'll die a little inside. As I did.

Score:
1.5/10

Recommended Tracks

Existo Vulgore:

Radikult (if you need to laugh):






Unabletothinkofname will be getting back into reviewing soon with some albums he actually likes. Stay tuned and keep livin' hardcore radikult.

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Re: Unabletothinkofname Reviews/Bashes: Morbid Angel: Illud Divinum Insanus

Post by Furburt on Sun Jun 19, 2011 9:04 pm

Kill a cop.

No.

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Re: Unabletothinkofname Reviews/Bashes: Morbid Angel: Illud Divinum Insanus

Post by reg42 on Sun Jun 19, 2011 9:14 pm

Well written man.

Not much a fan of death metal, myself, but still a nice review. And so much bile!

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Re: Unabletothinkofname Reviews/Bashes: Morbid Angel: Illud Divinum Insanus

Post by Katzenjammer on Sun Jun 19, 2011 9:25 pm

I have heard similar sentiments from my death metal friends.

Though I was never really a Morbid Angel fan to begin with...

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Re: Unabletothinkofname Reviews/Bashes: Morbid Angel: Illud Divinum Insanus

Post by MilkyFresh on Mon Jun 20, 2011 8:31 am

I paused Them Crooked Cultures to listen to Radikult. What a horrible mistake.

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Re: Unabletothinkofname Reviews/Bashes: Morbid Angel: Illud Divinum Insanus

Post by Alkaline on Sun Jul 03, 2011 6:58 pm

Furburt wrote:Kill a cop.

No.

This.

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