A serious (and long winded) problem

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A serious (and long winded) problem

Post by EClaris on Wed Jun 15, 2011 5:15 pm

Sorry for the buzzkill guys, but I want some outside feedback

Long Back story explaining problem in detail:
So my mom did the typical "You have a tone" with me. Well this time is escalated pretty far, as I've been pushed to the breaking point with this woman. She is the typical anger-issue victim complex mother. She is also extremely impulsive. As a result of said impulsiveness she moved pretty far away from where I went to high school right before I left for college for work. She has lost her job, and has almost no friends here. All my friends are gone as well and I haven't had time to make any here. Now she is kicking me out. She has done this before but last time I just stayed with a friend until it blew over. Well that's impossible now. She can't feed me or herself anymore (she spent her last $15 on our dinner last night) she can't drive because she is on a restricted license (reckless driving under the influence) and her car battery died so now *I* can't drive the car since we don't have the money to fix it. School starts late August so this predicament will only last until then.

So now that she has faced me with the issue of being kicked out I have several options.
~Going to stay with my Dad. Once again he lives in a place where there are no friends, and he isn't very social himself. However he can feed me and do stuff with me when he's not working or playing WoW. Which is a lot of the time. He's also very bitter and cynical. I'll also have to change his eating habits, as he eats really unhealthily and I'm trying to lose weight (he needs to as well for his health). It is garunteed to be lonely and sad until I go bad to school

~Staying with her. She whipped up a little contract that if I sign, will allow me to stay
1, Sincere and thoughtful apology (I am perfectly willing to apologize for shouting but not what I said)
2, No disrespectful words or tone, according to my standars (her standard is what sparked this whole mess)
3, Gentle a loving to [my nephew] at all times, according to my standards (My sister revoked her grandson visiting because of this fight, this is her trying to convince my sister to let him come)
4,Job, Internship, or volunteer at least 15 hrs a week by 6/23
5, Conseling by 6/23 (with what money?)
One reason I'm hesitant to storm out is that she owes me about $300. Which I really want. I know she can't give it to me now but I don't want her to "forget".

I have physical therapy here and some semblance of friends here already.

~Staying with my sister. She originally offered this at the beginning of summer, but my mom brought her into the fight (prompting her to pull her sons visit) and she is now angry at me. I would like to stay with her but not sure if the offer still stand. She lives somewhere where once again I have no friends

~Asking my sister and dad for money and moving to the city that my uni is in. A friend knows some of his friends with a spare room, so I could take them up on that. It would only be two months until I move back to my school for classes. This is risky. I'm worried about finding a job (which I've had trouble with at my moms neighborhood) and I wouldn't want to tarnish potential friendships with people in the same social circle or reflect badly on my friend if I can't pay. I don't have a car and I'm not sure if I can ride a bike because of an injury. Though biking to places is possible and there are friends in the city. Couch surfing would be really tough though.

I'm really at a loss. None of them are very good options. I just want some outside input before I sign the contract/leave leaving a restrained yet honest letter about my feelings.
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Re: A serious (and long winded) problem

Post by Katzenjammer on Wed Jun 15, 2011 5:29 pm

Shit, that situation sounds pretty dire. I guess it all depends on whether your mum would be able to take care of herself if you moved out. 1 and half odd months isn't actually that long as well so it's not like your going to be stuck in this situation for years.

Though i'm probably not the best person to take advice from as i'm not particularly doing well for myself at the moment. Still good luck with this, I hope everything turns out alright.

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Re: A serious (and long winded) problem

Post by ggggggggggg on Wed Jun 15, 2011 5:35 pm

Well you already have my completely reliable and knowledgeable insight Razz

I'll just chime in to say that if I were in your situation, I'd go for either the couch surfing or staying with dad, leaning more towards staying with friends. Though it really depends on the friend/friends, 2 months might be overstaying your welcome depending on who it is. Staying with your mum is probably only going to cause you more stress though, so I'd try to avoid that.


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Re: A serious (and long winded) problem

Post by Dead Herald on Wed Jun 15, 2011 6:01 pm

I would try talking to your sister or father and seeing what could be worked out. Your situation sounds pretty similar lousy, but at least you seem to have options. Judging by your mother's attitude, I'd say it's likely that $300 is never going to be returned to you.

Speaking honestly, your mother seems to be someone you should really get away from. I wish I had some kind of option to get away from my mother's house.


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Re: A serious (and long winded) problem

Post by Furburt on Wed Jun 15, 2011 6:03 pm

I'll go with Lemon, depends on your friends. If you have really great friends that you know would look after you no matter what, then go for it. If they're any more casual than that, it's risky.

My vote would be for staying with your dad. It's not the most desirable option, but it's definitely the most secure.

Your mother sounds ill, to be honest. As in she doesn't sound particularly rational. I doubt staying with her would be a good idea.

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