Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

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Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by PayJ on Thu May 19, 2011 2:02 am

It's no secret that life will bring you down
But don't spend your time in the dumps

Give up your worries
Give up your strives
Add some freedom to your lives
This is my advice
Give up your worries
Give up your strives
Add Some freedom to your lives

You don't need to be told the situation
with the greed the hatred and the constant adjitation.
Living your lives blind won't solve these issues
The world is running out of tissues
So why don't you just give up giving a fuck
Life's far more clear
You'll never shed another tear

Give up your worries
Give up your strives
Add some freedom to your lives
This is my advice
Give up your worries
Give up your strives
Add Some freedom to your lives

Life is easy, life could be sweet
You'll find no answers on a tweet
Go outside and hear the birds
Think they live by the rules of the stumbling heards?
Opinions should not matter
Well no more than a fly splatter
Let them all think what they think
Ain't gunna push me to the brink

Give up your worries
Give up your strives
Add some freedom to your lives
This is my advice
Give up your worries
Give up your strives
Add Some freedom to your lives

Cause when life's this simple
and every day is a fresh start
You'll start to notice the more powerful art
It's in the growth of a plant
Not this modern slant
Powerful things come from nature
Only weakness from a families nuture

Give up your worries
Give up your strives
Add some freedom to your lives
This is my advice
Give up your worries
Give up your strives
Add Some freedom to your lives
This is my Advice.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by Xandy on Thu May 19, 2011 2:22 am

It's good.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by PayJ on Thu May 19, 2011 2:37 am

You're all blind
Am I really loosing my mind?
All these lies are destroying my senses
Are we all under government lenses?

Do they watch me when I drink?
Do they know what I think?
Are they really everywhere?
Or is it all in there?

Do you know who to trust?
In the end everythings gunna rust
Is the cause important?
When our skulls fill with dust

Do they watch me when I drink?
Do they know what I think?
Are they really everywhere?
Or is it all in there?

Is the fight between powers
Worth these blood showers?
You can try to pick your fate
But it's always too late
It's decided in the cot
Whether you'll change it or not
The path's laid out for us all
Not by the divine
but the powerful swine

Do they watch me when I drink?
Do they know what I think?
Are they really everywhere?
Or is it all in there?

I try not to care
The future is under deaths stare
All we can do is wait
As they seal our fate
But there are those who wish to fight
Not with arms but with sight
Once you see through
Then you'll have a clue
The future can be bright
It's up to you to make it right

Do they watch me when I drink?
Do they know what I think?
Are they really everywhere?
Or is it all in there?

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by ggggggggggg on Thu May 19, 2011 2:57 am

Damn PayJ, they're good. I could imagine hearing them as punk songs.

Oddly enough, I started trying to write lyrics myself the other day, but nothing good came from it.

"Opinions should not matter
Well no more than a fly splatter"

Something seems kinda off about that line though. I dunno, maybe it's just me. But otherwise, they're really good man. Like the second one especially.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by Katzenjammer on Thu May 19, 2011 2:59 am

Did you write that? Because it's fucking great dude.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by Wayward on Thu May 19, 2011 3:46 am

They'd be better if I could read the first word of the first seven lines.

Serious criticism/praise to follow when I've read them all the way through.

Edit: Those are impressive, man. Thought-provoking subject matter and some good rhymes. When I read them I heard them in my mind like raps, but I could see them working as rock songs, too.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by PayJ on Thu May 19, 2011 8:43 am

Ah I'll leave the style and tempo of the song to my stoner mate. I think they need some work considering they where written on my phone at 3am. Thanks for you opinions.

I'll post the 3rd one i wrote tonight.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by PayJ on Thu May 19, 2011 4:04 pm

My colourful friend
With illusions of grandure
oh how they all demand ya
but they don't know your value

It's the key to the world
but off cliffs it should be hurled
It's their greatest weapon
Stronger than any nukes, walls or bars
It's handed to the fools
Just enforces the rules
Without it you are stuck
So get back in the muck

My colourful friend
With illusions of grandure
oh how they all demand ya
but they don't know your value

Is it worth the sacrafice?
You'd sell your mother twice
it's a shame to see
the hold it has on you and me
Without it we could be rich
Haha, isn't that a stitch

My colourful friend
With illusions of grandure
oh how they all demand ya
but they don't know your value

It sets our goals
As we sell our souls
They become fatter
The less we matter
You'll go beserk
the harder you work
So just earn what you need
Fuck this current creed

My colourful friend
With illusions of grandure
oh how they all demand ya
but they don't know your value

You love your material goods
but there is more in the woods
Amongst the nature that is left
there is no theft
No walls no Bars No Motor Cars
No war no famine

We where given everything
We will leave nothing

My colourful friend
With illusions of grandure
oh how they all demand ya
but they don't know your value

I know your true value.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by PayJ on Thu May 19, 2011 4:04 pm

Really quite eh on the chorus.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by Wayward on Thu May 19, 2011 4:16 pm

I think you mean "we were given everything", not "where".

Helpful tip handed down from my poetry professor: try reading it aloud to hear how the words sound together.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by PayJ on Thu May 19, 2011 4:22 pm

Really not trying for poetry. I think about issues I feel strongly about and that's how the words have been coming out. I think they all need alot of work considering they where written via txt on my phone at 2am-3am

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by PayJ on Thu May 19, 2011 4:24 pm

Thanks for your advice. I greatly appreciate help.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by PayJ on Thu May 19, 2011 5:11 pm

Fire no pain death or shame
For this you are to blame
Here comes the lights
Here comes the silence
Here comes the fear

No trouble
Make it double
Nature produces
our mind it seduces
The silence the clarity
The power of charity
It has no cost
Without it we are lost

Fire no pain death or shame
For this you are to blame
Here comes the lights
Here comes the silence
Here comes the fear

Mix it with my poisons
It's damge it's harm
The bliss the calm
Things I know longer know

Fire no pain death or shame
For this you are to blame
Here comes the lights
Here comes the silence
Here comes the fear

Call it obsession
Call it addiction
Always give me one more session
Make us work
Make us pay
I never get my say

Loose it all then you'll see
It'll always be a friend to me

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by PayJ on Thu May 19, 2011 5:11 pm

Why does it come out like a poem. I don't think any of this will work as songs...

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by PayJ on Thu May 19, 2011 5:19 pm

Needs work. when I get home I'm gunna change them all up.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by Unabletothinkofname on Thu May 19, 2011 5:32 pm

I like these. Lots.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by PayJ on Thu May 19, 2011 5:35 pm

Haha thanks alot man. Think I'm gunna take them round my dads and get to work on them proper. At the moment they are just the first things that have come to my head. Getting my mates to writea few riffs and what not will help I think. Providing they want to.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Thu May 19, 2011 8:01 pm

Is no Red Army Choir, but pleases glorious Comrade Kharloth anyway.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by reg42 on Thu May 19, 2011 8:05 pm


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"Fuck, fuck, fuck/Mutha, mutha fuck/Mutha, mutha fuck fuck/Mutha fuck, mutha fuck/Noinch, noinch, noinch

1-2-1-2-3-4/Noinch, noinch, noinch/Smokin' weed/Smokin' wiz/Doin' coke/Drinkin' beers/Drinkin' beers, beers, beers

Rollin' fatties, smokin' blunts/Who smokes the blunts/We smoke the blunts/Rollin' blunts and smokin...

Oh, let me get a nickle bag

15 bucks little man/Put that shit in my hand/If that money doesn't show/Then you owe me owe me owe

My jungle looooove/Oh-e-oh-e-oh/I think I wanna know ya, know ya"
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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Thu May 19, 2011 8:07 pm

*stands up in respect as a tear slides down cheek*

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by reg42 on Thu May 19, 2011 8:08 pm

I have no idea what they're saying, but it sounds inspiring.

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"Fuck, fuck, fuck/Mutha, mutha fuck/Mutha, mutha fuck fuck/Mutha fuck, mutha fuck/Noinch, noinch, noinch

1-2-1-2-3-4/Noinch, noinch, noinch/Smokin' weed/Smokin' wiz/Doin' coke/Drinkin' beers/Drinkin' beers, beers, beers

Rollin' fatties, smokin' blunts/Who smokes the blunts/We smoke the blunts/Rollin' blunts and smokin...

Oh, let me get a nickle bag

15 bucks little man/Put that shit in my hand/If that money doesn't show/Then you owe me owe me owe

My jungle looooove/Oh-e-oh-e-oh/I think I wanna know ya, know ya"
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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by PayJ on Thu May 19, 2011 9:18 pm

What's with the sudden communism Comrade Kharloth?

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Thu May 19, 2011 10:28 pm

PayJ567 wrote:What's with the sudden communism Comrade Kharloth?
I was drunk and listened to soviet patriotic songs for about two hours.

So, I became a communist.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by Xandy on Thu May 19, 2011 10:30 pm

I must shoot you.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Thu May 19, 2011 10:35 pm

Warmaster Xandus wrote:I must shoot you.
How would you like a one way trip to take a tour of a mysterious prison in the arctic? It will be fun, I promise.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by PayJ on Thu May 19, 2011 10:41 pm

Komrade Kharloth wrote:
PayJ567 wrote:What's with the sudden communism Comrade Kharloth?
I was drunk and listened to soviet patriotic songs for about two hours.

So, I became a communist.

Best reason for changing political allignment ever and Lenin cat just works.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by Furburt on Thu May 19, 2011 10:46 pm

Whatever you feel about Communism, no-one can deny that the Soviets wrote some kick-ass marching songs.

And made some kick ass movies (Come and See, Stalker, The Cranes Are Flying).

Too bad about the oppression.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Thu May 19, 2011 10:50 pm

Furburt wrote:
Come and See

I really must see that movie one of these days.

Too bad trying to find movies older than 20 years on the internet is hard as fuck. I spent two hours trying to find a video of Aguirre the wrath of god.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by Xandy on Thu May 19, 2011 11:09 pm

WAIT A SECOND!

The Code of the Mellow Leprechauns clearly states that ignorant Communism is not allowed! Kharloth must be punished!

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by Furburt on Thu May 19, 2011 11:19 pm

@Xandus: No.

@Kharloth: Best war film I've ever seen. Well, it's not really a war film as much as it is a massacre film. The ending scene put me off glorifying conflict completely. It makes Apocalypse Now look like The Triumph of the Will.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by PayJ on Thu May 19, 2011 11:25 pm

Damn Furburt your movie knowledge knows no bounds.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by Furburt on Thu May 19, 2011 11:28 pm

You should see my movie collection. Takes up a whole wall.

One of the few things I'm proud of.

Christ, that made me sound like Edward Norton at the start of Fight Club.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Thu May 19, 2011 11:29 pm

Warmaster Xandus wrote:WAIT A SECOND!

The Code of the Mellow Leprechauns clearly states that ignorant Communism is not allowed! Kharloth must be punished!
But I'm not an ignorant communist, I converted whilst drunk.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by Furburt on Thu May 19, 2011 11:30 pm

Which I'm sure is how 90% of all communism is conducted.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by PayJ on Thu May 19, 2011 11:31 pm

Haha gotta love Eastern Europeans.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Thu May 19, 2011 11:34 pm



And now for glorious music.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by Furburt on Thu May 19, 2011 11:42 pm

Seriously, what the fuck is it with Communists, Russians, and both and having movie star good looks when they're younger?

Young Putin:



Looking...quite a bit like Joe, to my eyes.

It goes on.

Castro:



Trotsky, rocking the single greatest Jewfro ever seen.



Starring Leonardo Di Caprio as Lenin:



Yeltsin:



Gorbachev:



And the grandaddy of all the sexy Russians (that didn't sound right), Stalin:





Look at those eyebrows and tell me you wouldn't fuck him where he stood.

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This device defies all laws

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by PayJ on Thu May 19, 2011 11:44 pm

Cause when they are young they haven't been weathered by mother russisa.

And me... Look like putin. That's the nicest thing anyones ever said.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by Furburt on Thu May 19, 2011 11:45 pm

And Putin still looks good!


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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

Post by PayJ on Thu May 19, 2011 11:49 pm

Fuck Russia is cool.

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Re: Ok, could I get some honest Opinions?

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