Ask GrinningManiac

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Ask GrinningManiac

Post by GrinningManiac on Mon Jan 10, 2011 4:49 pm

Why I bothered I don't even know. But hey, you guys seem to all know each other on first-name terms, so ask actual questions if you want.

My name's Alasdair, before you ask

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मैं हिन्दी जानना चाहता हूँ…અને ગુજરાતી…ਅਤੇ ਪੰਜਾਬੀ…এবং হয়ত বাংলা.
Aprenderé a bailar salsa y nada detendrá me. 对不起我的中文不好,对不起我不知道你说什么。
Не слышны в саду даже шорохи. Все здесь замерло до утра, Если б знали вы, как мне дороги, Подмосковные вечера.
The problem with having an open mind, you see, is that people insist on coming along and putting things in it
- Sir Terry Pratchett
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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Mon Jan 10, 2011 4:53 pm

Nick Griffin.

Great politician, or greatest politician?

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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by GrinningManiac on Mon Jan 10, 2011 4:54 pm

Greatest politician at being the worst politician

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मैं हिन्दी जानना चाहता हूँ…અને ગુજરાતી…ਅਤੇ ਪੰਜਾਬੀ…এবং হয়ত বাংলা.
Aprenderé a bailar salsa y nada detendrá me. 对不起我的中文不好,对不起我不知道你说什么。
Не слышны в саду даже шорохи. Все здесь замерло до утра, Если б знали вы, как мне дороги, Подмосковные вечера.
The problem with having an open mind, you see, is that people insist on coming along and putting things in it
- Sir Terry Pratchett
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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by ggggggggggg on Mon Jan 10, 2011 5:39 pm

May I ask an actual question?

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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by Guest on Mon Jan 10, 2011 5:44 pm

BEE EN PEE!
BEE EN PEE!

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by PayJ on Mon Jan 10, 2011 7:28 pm

When the moon reaches it's highest point in the sky, there is a solar eclipse. I was told this when i was blasting across south america on a rocket powered microlight.

With this in mind, if I kill someone in cold blood with a spoon, how many years am I expected to get in prison if I plead not guilty and the judge wants to bang me?

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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by GrinningManiac on Tue Jan 11, 2011 12:01 am

@ Lemon - yes. Shoot!

@HALP MEH PAYJAY - If the judge wants to bang you and it's a HE, then expect 4 years (assuming the solar eclipse is during the winter solstice). If it's a SHE, you have to factor in the Fraser-McGovern Commission and realise that National Party Conventions in America aren't as important as they used to be. Considering this, you can expect three months before the Judge breaks you out of prison (in, like, a totally hawt catsuit) and you flee to live in the Alps

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मैं हिन्दी जानना चाहता हूँ…અને ગુજરાતી…ਅਤੇ ਪੰਜਾਬੀ…এবং হয়ত বাংলা.
Aprenderé a bailar salsa y nada detendrá me. 对不起我的中文不好,对不起我不知道你说什么。
Не слышны в саду даже шорохи. Все здесь замерло до утра, Если б знали вы, как мне дороги, Подмосковные вечера.
The problem with having an open mind, you see, is that people insist on coming along and putting things in it
- Sir Terry Pratchett
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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by SnootyJuggaloman on Tue Jan 11, 2011 12:32 am

Have the monkey of grippleshire made a residence in your brain matter?

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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by TheStickman on Tue Jan 11, 2011 1:36 am

My name is Zack, nice to meat you. *Slaps with a steak*

*Brain explodes from the incredibly lame pun*
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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by GrinningManiac on Tue Jan 11, 2011 1:50 pm

SnootyJuggaloman wrote:Have the monkey of grippleshire made a residence in your brain matter?

---NEGATORY---

-THE HOMO SAPIENS IN QUESTION IS NOT, HAS NOT AND NEVER WILL BE UNDER THE CONTROL OF THE CERCOPITHECOID OF GRIPPLESHIRE-

-THE CERCOPITHECOID OF GRIPPLESHIRE IS A FABRICATION, A HOAX. IT IS AN URBAN MYTH PERPRETRATED BY HOMINES SAPIENTES WITH LIMITED CAPACITY TO PLEASURE THEIR WOMENFOLK -

-CARRY ON WITH YOUR DUTIES-

-ALL HAIL THE CERCOPITHECOID-

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मैं हिन्दी जानना चाहता हूँ…અને ગુજરાતી…ਅਤੇ ਪੰਜਾਬੀ…এবং হয়ত বাংলা.
Aprenderé a bailar salsa y nada detendrá me. 对不起我的中文不好,对不起我不知道你说什么。
Не слышны в саду даже шорохи. Все здесь замерло до утра, Если б знали вы, как мне дороги, Подмосковные вечера.
The problem with having an open mind, you see, is that people insist on coming along and putting things in it
- Sir Terry Pratchett
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GrinningManiac
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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by SnootyJuggaloman on Tue Jan 11, 2011 8:23 pm

GrinningManiac wrote:
SnootyJuggaloman wrote:Have the monkey of grippleshire made a residence in your brain matter?

---NEGATORY---

-THE HOMO SAPIENS IN QUESTION IS NOT, HAS NOT AND NEVER WILL BE UNDER THE CONTROL OF THE CERCOPITHECOID OF GRIPPLESHIRE-

-THE CERCOPITHECOID OF GRIPPLESHIRE IS A FABRICATION, A HOAX. IT IS AN URBAN MYTH PERPRETRATED BY HOMINES SAPIENTES WITH LIMITED CAPACITY TO PLEASURE THEIR WOMENFOLK -

-CARRY ON WITH YOUR DUTIES-

-ALL HAIL THE CERCOPITHECOID-

ALL HAIL THE CERCOPITHECOID

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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by ggggggggggg on Wed Jan 12, 2011 7:10 pm

Depuis que vous avez un intérêt pour les langues étrangères, ce que d'autres étudiez-vous ou connaissez un peu de?

Hururur, je parle francais!

... un baguette!


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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by GrinningManiac on Wed Jan 12, 2011 8:24 pm

Icy Lemon wrote:Depuis que vous avez un intérêt pour les langues étrangères, ce que d'autres étudiez-vous ou connaissez un peu de?

Hururur, je parle francais!

... un baguette!


Hola, Francóphono! Mi hablar Espana. Mi appendar Espana en Peru paro quatro semana, pero es muy malo (porque es hace mucho tiempo!). Mi appendar un poco Espana en mi collegio, pero fue no divertido y muy dificil.

I can also say "good morning (respectfully)" in Japanese (spelt phonetically on account of not knowing the actual romanisation) - Ohiyou Gozimasu!

Main ek saal sey Hindi seekh raha hoon. Meri Hindi kuuch khaas nahi hai. Main Hindi boltaa aur samajhe hai, magar jyada nahi. Mujhe Hindi kaa abhyaas karnaa hogaa
Me one year (contextual grammar) Hindi learn -ing am. My Hindi some distinguished no is. Me Hindi speak (masculine) and understand is, but more no. My Hindi of practice to will.
I have been learning Hindi for a year. My Hindi is not very good. I speak and understand Hindi, but not much. I need to practice my Hindi.

Already you can see how crazy different the grammar/layout/logic is from anything remotely European. I haven't even begun to delve into the stupidity of the logic behind Masculine and Femenine

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मैं हिन्दी जानना चाहता हूँ…અને ગુજરાતી…ਅਤੇ ਪੰਜਾਬੀ…এবং হয়ত বাংলা.
Aprenderé a bailar salsa y nada detendrá me. 对不起我的中文不好,对不起我不知道你说什么。
Не слышны в саду даже шорохи. Все здесь замерло до утра, Если б знали вы, как мне дороги, Подмосковные вечера.
The problem with having an open mind, you see, is that people insist on coming along and putting things in it
- Sir Terry Pratchett
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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by Furburt on Thu Jan 13, 2011 4:55 pm

how many goats do you think you could comfortably eviscerate given a drill bit and a smoothie machine?

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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by GrinningManiac on Thu Jan 13, 2011 4:59 pm

Goats? None - I love the things

As for cats...I reckon about 20 an hour

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मैं हिन्दी जानना चाहता हूँ…અને ગુજરાતી…ਅਤੇ ਪੰਜਾਬੀ…এবং হয়ত বাংলা.
Aprenderé a bailar salsa y nada detendrá me. 对不起我的中文不好,对不起我不知道你说什么。
Не слышны в саду даже шорохи. Все здесь замерло до утра, Если б знали вы, как мне дороги, Подмосковные вечера.
The problem with having an open mind, you see, is that people insist on coming along and putting things in it
- Sir Terry Pratchett
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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by Furburt on Sat Jan 22, 2011 2:26 am

Why don't you run out of salt soon?

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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by GrinningManiac on Sat Feb 05, 2011 10:32 pm

I ran out of salt?

*checks*

WHAT THE FU-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

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मैं हिन्दी जानना चाहता हूँ…અને ગુજરાતી…ਅਤੇ ਪੰਜਾਬੀ…এবং হয়ত বাংলা.
Aprenderé a bailar salsa y nada detendrá me. 对不起我的中文不好,对不起我不知道你说什么。
Не слышны в саду даже шорохи. Все здесь замерло до утра, Если б знали вы, как мне дороги, Подмосковные вечера.
The problem with having an open mind, you see, is that people insist on coming along and putting things in it
- Sir Terry Pratchett
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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by Furburt on Sat Feb 05, 2011 10:44 pm

Another life claimed by the lack of salt.

Dammit, it never gets any easier!

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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by Xandy on Sun Feb 06, 2011 12:17 am

How?

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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by GrinningManiac on Mon Feb 07, 2011 11:04 pm

Sir Xandus wrote:How?

A satsuma, a length of rope and three delicately balanced trained hamsters, yourself?

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मैं हिन्दी जानना चाहता हूँ…અને ગુજરાતી…ਅਤੇ ਪੰਜਾਬੀ…এবং হয়ত বাংলা.
Aprenderé a bailar salsa y nada detendrá me. 对不起我的中文不好,对不起我不知道你说什么。
Не слышны в саду даже шорохи. Все здесь замерло до утра, Если б знали вы, как мне дороги, Подмосковные вечера.
The problem with having an open mind, you see, is that people insist on coming along and putting things in it
- Sir Terry Pratchett
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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by Furburt on Mon Feb 07, 2011 11:06 pm

How much did the hamsters cost?

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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by GrinningManiac on Mon Feb 07, 2011 11:17 pm

They came at a bulk-buy price cut at 3,000 hamsters for 2 million Peruvian "Nuevo Sols"

2,997 hamsters died in the training procedures. Think all that crap that happens to the SAS, mixed with the biological "screw you" of a Space Marine creation process and then throw half the survivors in a blender to see if any of your remaining hamsters freak out or show emotion. Kill the ones that do so.

3 remained.

So that's 2 million nuevo soles (about 15 thousand pounds) plus a tenner for the blender and fifty quid's worth of secondary organs and miniature space marine suits for the survivors of the Gauntlet of Adorable Fuzzy Wuzzy Murder-Doom-Death

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मैं हिन्दी जानना चाहता हूँ…અને ગુજરાતી…ਅਤੇ ਪੰਜਾਬੀ…এবং হয়ত বাংলা.
Aprenderé a bailar salsa y nada detendrá me. 对不起我的中文不好,对不起我不知道你说什么。
Не слышны в саду даже шорохи. Все здесь замерло до утра, Если б знали вы, как мне дороги, Подмосковные вечера.
The problem with having an open mind, you see, is that people insist on coming along and putting things in it
- Sir Terry Pratchett
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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by Furburt on Mon Feb 07, 2011 11:18 pm

I bet they're fucking rodent Rambo's now though.

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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by GrinningManiac on Mon Feb 07, 2011 11:20 pm

You kidding me? One of them was so strong he beat up time and made it go backwards. He rounded up every hollywood action hero ever and beat the crap out of all of them by staring at them.

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मैं हिन्दी जानना चाहता हूँ…અને ગુજરાતી…ਅਤੇ ਪੰਜਾਬੀ…এবং হয়ত বাংলা.
Aprenderé a bailar salsa y nada detendrá me. 对不起我的中文不好,对不起我不知道你说什么。
Не слышны в саду даже шорохи. Все здесь замерло до утра, Если б знали вы, как мне дороги, Подмосковные вечера.
The problem with having an open mind, you see, is that people insist on coming along and putting things in it
- Sir Terry Pratchett
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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by Furburt on Mon Feb 07, 2011 11:25 pm

He needs his own action movie series.

Followed by a series of failed comedies.

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This device defies all laws

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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by Guest on Sat Feb 12, 2011 8:45 pm

Furburt wrote:how many goats do you think you could comfortably eviscerate given a drill bit and a smoothie machine?



THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!


GrinningManiac wrote:Goats? None - I love the things

As for cats...I reckon about 20 an hour

You, I approve of.

*presents anus*

Guest
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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by GrinningManiac on Sun Feb 13, 2011 12:49 pm

*accepts anus gratefully. Puts it in cabinet on display in living room*

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मैं हिन्दी जानना चाहता हूँ…અને ગુજરાતી…ਅਤੇ ਪੰਜਾਬੀ…এবং হয়ত বাংলা.
Aprenderé a bailar salsa y nada detendrá me. 对不起我的中文不好,对不起我不知道你说什么。
Не слышны в саду даже шорохи. Все здесь замерло до утра, Если б знали вы, как мне дороги, Подмосковные вечера.
The problem with having an open mind, you see, is that people insist on coming along and putting things in it
- Sir Terry Pratchett
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GrinningManiac
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Posts : 5597
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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by Guest on Wed Feb 16, 2011 6:37 am

I miss my anus. Sad

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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by Movie Martyr on Wed Feb 16, 2011 6:43 am

Comment allez-vous, aujourd'hui?

Parlez-vous francais avec moi?

Suis-je ennuyeux?

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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by Guest on Wed Feb 16, 2011 6:48 am

wat

I cannot speak French with you.

Do I want/like....something? Close?

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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by Alkaline on Wed Feb 16, 2011 6:49 am

Marter wrote:Comment allez-vous, aujourd'hui?

Parlez-vous francais avec moi?

Suis-je ennuyeux?
Sut wyt ti heddiw?

Ydych chi'n siarad Cymraeg efo fi?

Ydw i'n ddiflas?

Wow, the Welsh language looks almost Lovecraftian.

I've totally gotta learn it now. Very Happy


Last edited by Wraythen on Wed Feb 16, 2011 7:01 am; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by Movie Martyr on Wed Feb 16, 2011 6:52 am

Swollen Goat wrote:wat

I cannot speak French with you.

Do I want/like....something? Close?
"How are you?"

"Will you speak French with me?"

"Am I annoying?"

1/3 ain't bad.

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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by Guest on Wed Feb 16, 2011 6:57 am

Marter wrote:
"How are you?"

"Will you speak French with me?"

"Am I annoying?"

1/3 ain't bad.

Considering I never took French. I took Spanish, but only the second one looked even remotely familiar

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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by Dead Herald on Wed Feb 16, 2011 7:15 am

Somewhat annoying, but not enough for me to actually be annoyed.

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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by GrinningManiac on Wed Feb 16, 2011 4:50 pm

Marter wrote:Comment allez-vous, aujourd'hui?

Parlez-vous francais avec moi?

Suis-je ennuyeux?

I'm fine today, thanks

I don't speak French, no. I only recognise the basics (comment is a no-brainer, vous = you. I know Ajourd'hui from a favourite song of mine - Sous la Ciel de Paris)

Am I ... something? Enneyuck? Enyuck? Inuit?

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मैं हिन्दी जानना चाहता हूँ…અને ગુજરાતી…ਅਤੇ ਪੰਜਾਬੀ…এবং হয়ত বাংলা.
Aprenderé a bailar salsa y nada detendrá me. 对不起我的中文不好,对不起我不知道你说什么。
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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by Furburt on Wed Feb 16, 2011 6:00 pm

Níl a thuilleadh na Fraince! Tá sé amaideach.


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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by reg42 on Wed Feb 16, 2011 6:04 pm

Jy het jou ma se poephole uitgekom, want haar poes was te besig.


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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by Furburt on Wed Feb 16, 2011 6:09 pm

You lie! You're not even Afrikaner!


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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by reg42 on Wed Feb 16, 2011 6:25 pm

Oi. Shaddup.

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"Fuck, fuck, fuck/Mutha, mutha fuck/Mutha, mutha fuck fuck/Mutha fuck, mutha fuck/Noinch, noinch, noinch

1-2-1-2-3-4/Noinch, noinch, noinch/Smokin' weed/Smokin' wiz/Doin' coke/Drinkin' beers/Drinkin' beers, beers, beers

Rollin' fatties, smokin' blunts/Who smokes the blunts/We smoke the blunts/Rollin' blunts and smokin...

Oh, let me get a nickle bag

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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

Post by GrinningManiac on Wed Feb 16, 2011 9:45 pm

Main Hindi bolta hu. Aap Hindi bolte hai? Nahi? Main Angrezi hu, lenkin main Hindi bolta hu...err...Cammac!

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मैं हिन्दी जानना चाहता हूँ…અને ગુજરાતી…ਅਤੇ ਪੰਜਾਬੀ…এবং হয়ত বাংলা.
Aprenderé a bailar salsa y nada detendrá me. 对不起我的中文不好,对不起我不知道你说什么。
Не слышны в саду даже шорохи. Все здесь замерло до утра, Если б знали вы, как мне дороги, Подмосковные вечера.
The problem with having an open mind, you see, is that people insist on coming along and putting things in it
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Re: Ask GrinningManiac

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