The Tale Of Fniff's Ipad.

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The Tale Of Fniff's Ipad.

Post by Fniff on Mon Oct 11, 2010 1:04 am

OK, I got this idea a few hours ago, and I just had to get it out.

*
DAY ONE

Hello! My name is Ipad 223343442SF2. You can call me Ippy.

My current owner is going to be a 12 year old, who apparentally wanted a kindle instead! Silly kindles, they don't have as many apps as me!

DAY TWO

You know, the kid looked a bit sad when he saw me. He must have been stunned by my amazing good looks!

He seems to be really into his computer. Silly computer, it looks silly! All white, and big. I guess I'll be fine, he'll grow tired of the painfully slow internet!

DAY THREE

He seems to have placed me in his desk. It's cozy. He must really like me!

DAY FOUR

You know, he should be using me more.

DAY FIVE

He really should use me more.

DAY SIX

I WAS CRAFTING FROM THE TEARS OF POOR ASIAN CHILDREN, AND HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ME?! I HAVE THOUSANDS OF APPS, AND AMAZING SPECS, AND THE CHICKS LIKE ME, UNLIKE THAT FUCKING KINDLE! HE SMELLS! I SMELL GREAT!

DAY SEVEN

Today, he will find Ippy broken, terminally fallen down the stairs.

You know, I thought my life would end differently.

*

Your opinion? Tell me in the poll!

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Re: The Tale Of Fniff's Ipad.

Post by Xandy on Mon Oct 11, 2010 1:16 am

Good story. You know, I really hated the Ipad at the beginning, but at the very end I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Sad

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Re: The Tale Of Fniff's Ipad.

Post by Fniff on Mon Oct 11, 2010 1:26 am

Sir Xandus wrote:Good story. You know, I really hated the Ipad at the beginning, but at the very end I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Sad

Poor, poor Ippy...

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Re: The Tale Of Fniff's Ipad.

Post by Hubilub on Mon Oct 11, 2010 8:59 am

If they make this into a movie, Ippy should be played by Malcolm McDowell

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Re: The Tale Of Fniff's Ipad.

Post by Timotei on Tue Oct 12, 2010 8:22 pm

Hubilub wrote:If they make this into a movie, Ippy should be played by Malcolm McDowell
Directed by Michael Bay. In some way they will manage to fit in explosions, afternoon lens flare, tits, ass, and billowing Ameircan flags being played off by Green Day.

I'm still waiting on Search Bar: The Movie 3D by James Cameron.

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Re: The Tale Of Fniff's Ipad.

Post by Hubilub on Tue Oct 12, 2010 9:38 pm

Timotei wrote:
Hubilub wrote:If they make this into a movie, Ippy should be played by Malcolm McDowell
Directed by Michael Bay. In some way they will manage to fit in explosions, afternoon lens flare, tits, ass, and billowing Ameircan flags being played off by Green Day.

I'm still waiting on Search Bar: The Movie 3D by James Cameron.
And somehow Malcolm MacDowell will still have Caligula flashbacks and ask his sister iPhone to iTouch him

(Apple incest jokes! HA!)

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Re: The Tale Of Fniff's Ipad.

Post by Guest on Tue Oct 12, 2010 9:40 pm

Amusing.
I like short stories

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Re: The Tale Of Fniff's Ipad.

Post by ItsAChiaotzu on Wed Oct 13, 2010 6:52 pm

Pretty funny, the Ipad is such a turd though.

"Do you want an Ipod touch? Yes? Well how about the same thing, but roughly 4 times the size so that it's incredibly inconvenient? What's that, that's a terrible idea you say? La la la la I can't hear you!"

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Re: The Tale Of Fniff's Ipad.

Post by Timotei on Wed Oct 13, 2010 7:13 pm

Hubilub wrote:
Timotei wrote:
Hubilub wrote:If they make this into a movie, Ippy should be played by Malcolm McDowell
Directed by Michael Bay. In some way they will manage to fit in explosions, afternoon lens flare, tits, ass, and billowing Ameircan flags being played off by Green Day.

I'm still waiting on Search Bar: The Movie 3D by James Cameron.
And somehow Malcolm MacDowell will still have Caligula flashbacks and ask his sister iPhone to iTouch him

(Apple incest jokes! HA!)
It would if it was called the iTouch. It's actually the iPod Touch.

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Re: The Tale Of Fniff's Ipad.

Post by Neosage on Wed Oct 13, 2010 8:28 pm

Art.

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Re: The Tale Of Fniff's Ipad.

Post by Hubilub on Wed Oct 13, 2010 10:09 pm

Timotei wrote:
Hubilub wrote:
Timotei wrote:
Hubilub wrote:If they make this into a movie, Ippy should be played by Malcolm McDowell
Directed by Michael Bay. In some way they will manage to fit in explosions, afternoon lens flare, tits, ass, and billowing Ameircan flags being played off by Green Day.

I'm still waiting on Search Bar: The Movie 3D by James Cameron.
And somehow Malcolm MacDowell will still have Caligula flashbacks and ask his sister iPhone to iTouch him

(Apple incest jokes! HA!)
It would if it was called the iTouch. It's actually the iPod Touch.
Bah, the iPod Touch has nothing to do with my joke. It's just common practice to put "i" in front of a subject or verb for comedic effect when dealing with Apple.

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Re: The Tale Of Fniff's Ipad.

Post by Timotei on Wed Oct 13, 2010 11:21 pm

Hubilub wrote:
Timotei wrote:It would if it was called the iTouch. It's actually the iPod Touch.
Bah, the iPod Touch has nothing to do with my joke. It's just common practice to put "i" in front of a subject or verb for comedic effect when dealing with Apple.

I don't know, sometimes they tend to make the jokes themselves. Because all you have to put in front of 'iPad' is 'Max', and thus you get a brand of tampon which is spelled perfectly.

It's almost poetic.

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Re: The Tale Of Fniff's Ipad.

Post by SnootyJuggaloman on Thu Oct 14, 2010 4:21 am

Poor ol Ippy a memorial service will be held in his honor, then afterwards we will gather the remains and toss it into a grinder.

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Re: The Tale Of Fniff's Ipad.

Post by Timotei on Thu Oct 14, 2010 4:53 am

SnootyJuggaloman wrote:Poor ol Ippy a memorial service will be held in his honor, then afterwards we will gather the remains and toss it into a grinder.
How about just giving it to a recycle service? You get money for Ippy's remains then.

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Re: The Tale Of Fniff's Ipad.

Post by GrinningManiac on Thu Oct 14, 2010 4:07 pm

My dear boy

This rates up there with the Bard himself, the Bronte children and motherfeckin' Terry Pratchett

...okay, so I lied about that last one. NOTHING is as good as Pratchett

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