Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

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Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by Furburt on Tue Dec 25, 2012 1:47 am

SO NOW

CHRISTMAS


BUT AT WHAT COST?



THE SLAUGHTER OF PASSCHENDAELE

YOU'RE WELCOME

STAY WARM

Rock over London, Rock over Chicago,
Polaroid. See what develops.

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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Tue Dec 25, 2012 1:54 am

I lost it at 'the slaughter of passchendale'

Merry Christmas Fabian.

Oh yeah, and the rest of you too.

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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by DoomyMcDoom on Tue Dec 25, 2012 3:12 am

Merry Christmas to all you cunts, and a happy new fucking year!

May your days be filled with slaughter, cannibalism, and cheer!
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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by Katzenjammer on Tue Dec 25, 2012 3:15 am

hip hip hooray

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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by Xandy on Tue Dec 25, 2012 3:37 am

Passchendaele wasn't fought during December though...

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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by DoomyMcDoom on Tue Dec 25, 2012 4:08 am

>.> <.< >.> It was this time around... heh...
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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by Xandy on Tue Dec 25, 2012 4:09 am

DON'T YOU DARE USE SMILEYS YOU CUNT I'LL GUT YOU LIKE A BADGER

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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by DoomyMcDoom on Tue Dec 25, 2012 4:12 am

I see no smiles, only blood, and burning... That makes me smile though, so maybe this'll be a good december after all! Very Happy

Also, gutting a badger is relatively difficult, especially honeybadgers, those fuckers are tough, maybe you meant midget? Or child? Or hamster?
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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by PayJ on Tue Dec 25, 2012 10:12 am

Merry Christmas you bunch of inbred, depressing and monstrously ugly fuck narks.

Y'all bigger nigger's get anything good?

Got me some money towards a motorbike jacket
Some decent clothes
And a grow your own chilli set. Which fucking rocks.

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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by Alkaline on Tue Dec 25, 2012 12:06 pm

Merry Christmas, you lovable bastards. Very Happy

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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by DoomyMcDoom on Tue Dec 25, 2012 6:14 pm

Merry Crustmass to all of you for reelz this time.

I got a $25 gift card for the local grocery store, bought a buncha bacon...
Also my mom shipped me a package with a couple gifts in it, specifically a waterproof down jacket, and SOCKS! Also some candy, but SOCKS! Finally, it took three years of me complaining that I never get socks for christmas anymore for someone to finally get me some nice socks for christmas.
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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by GrinningManiac on Tue Dec 25, 2012 10:04 pm

A pen
A calendar
A watch
A spork
A box of flashcards
A notebook
A washbag
Some soap

And a copy of I, Claudius.

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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by NightSwimming on Tue Dec 25, 2012 11:50 pm

A total of $400
Socks!
A heap of paints & other paint supplies
Tea, which I can't wait to drink
A fucking awesome wooden lamp
A disc of photos of my 2 year old cousin. Question

I have a very small family. I've only got one cousin, who has a kid & is pregnant again. I was the youngest in the whole family until I was 19 and Matteo was born. We have pretty chilled out Christmases, but the gifts are always awesome all around.
Gave my aunt and cousin a painting each. They were stoked, so I was happy with my work.

What did you niggers give this xmas?

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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by ggggggggggg on Tue Dec 25, 2012 11:54 pm

merry christ asm

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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by Furburt on Wed Dec 26, 2012 12:05 am

I gave a bottle of Eau De Savage to my dad, a DVD of Alan Bennett's TV monologues to my mother, a sleeping mask to my brother, a brown corduroy flat cap for my friend Alan, an authentic 1970's Soviet helmet to my friend/flatmate Dan, and a copy of Moone Boy to my godparents.

In return, I received an Ian Dury compilation, lots of Dave Allen books and DVD's (He's an Irish stand up comedian who is the complete inspiration for the styles of Dylan Moran and countless others.),
a book about Brass Eye, a genuinely amusing comic wall plaque, 60 cans of pepsi, bought in bulk, some leather loafers, to be worn without socks in summer, miami vice style. Many other things too, but those are the only things in the room with me and I don't feel like moving.

Also, my parents paid to have my PC fixed, after about half a year of a burnt out hard drive. Reinstalling all my shit now, although it'll stay down in my parents house while I'm at college, so it's mainly for my brother.

Overall, nice, quiet and calm Christmas, with mild weather. The only weird part was an absolutely bizarre situation where all the people at the dinner table bar my little brother (me, my dad and my mother) started practically bursting out crying for no apparent reason. I don't even remember who started but suddenly we were all very sad, and then it passed and we cheered up in front of the television. Very strange indeed.

No bad vibes though, so all's well.

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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by GrinningManiac on Wed Dec 26, 2012 12:34 am

I got my dad a build-your-own-miniature-combustion-engine which requires serious technical know-how and runs on vegetable oil.

I got my mum a Time Traveller's Guide to Elizabethan England. The idea is it's not so much a history as it is a description of what you'd see, smell, do, hear and notice walking around the typical street of a Elizabethan London. None of this Queen n' Spanish sh*t - it's proper day-in-the-life history.

Me and my friends are planning to do presents in January since we're all over the isle until then.

I'mma get one friend something trivia-based
I'mma get another a film
I'mma get another, his brother, something. Me and best mate will discuss ideas tomorrow.
I'mma get best mate something. I dunno. It's hard to get presents for people who you have spent on, and have been spent on by, £200 custom-framed portraits of TF2 characters from limited-edition Valve lithographs. I mean where do you go from there? We're done, basically, as far as gifting goes.

Oh I got my Ukrainian housemate an antique woodcut with traditional Ukrainian festive dishes painted on it. Proper 1920s thing. He loves 1920s.


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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Wed Dec 26, 2012 8:29 pm

I got a fuck load of shit that dem bigga nigga's best respect!

But my plan to me drunk until the newyear begfind has worked too we;l;;s so fuck all of y'all/

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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by PayJ on Wed Dec 26, 2012 11:01 pm

My whole family got drunk and played pictionary today. Can't argue with that.

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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by DoomyMcDoom on Thu Dec 27, 2012 3:17 am

Drunk pictionary is best pictionary.
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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by Katzenjammer on Thu Dec 27, 2012 10:41 am

I'm seriously out my pickle.

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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by PayJ on Thu Dec 27, 2012 11:11 am

Had you been up all night or did you wake and bake?

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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by Katzenjammer on Thu Dec 27, 2012 2:27 pm

Up all night man, still not slept ahhhh.

Snorted far too much mandy last night.

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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by PayJ on Thu Dec 27, 2012 3:10 pm

Have you had a J? Always helps knock you out.

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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by Katzenjammer on Thu Dec 27, 2012 5:08 pm

I think a day of heavy drinking is on the cards for me.

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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by GrinningManiac on Fri Dec 28, 2012 1:23 am

PayJ wrote:My whole family got drunk and played pictionary today. Can't argue with that.

Ditto. We did that too.


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मैं हिन्दी जानना चाहता हूँ…અને ગુજરાતી…ਅਤੇ ਪੰਜਾਬੀ…এবং হয়ত বাংলা.
Aprenderé a bailar salsa y nada detendrá me. 对不起我的中文不好,对不起我不知道你说什么。
Не слышны в саду даже шорохи. Все здесь замерло до утра, Если б знали вы, как мне дороги, Подмосковные вечера.
The problem with having an open mind, you see, is that people insist on coming along and putting things in it
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Re: Merry Absolute Fucking Spastic Christmas

Post by PayJ on Fri Dec 28, 2012 9:21 am

@Maniac: It's a surprisingly good game. Hilarious when my brother kept shouting fruit at my Grandad.

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