Surviving the Apocalypse

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Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by NightSwimming on Thu Dec 20, 2012 12:03 pm

Hey y'all, so as we know the world gon end in jus a few day, feel me?
Here how y'all gon' s'vive it so you aint havta go down like dem otha fewls who aint got none brains, nigga.

1) Be skeptical.
2) Drink all of your booze.
3) Masturbate at least twice before 11am.
4) Don't eat cheese. None. Any cheese is too much cheese.
5) Go find that wasps nest you saw a few years back. Open it and tell me if wasps make honey.
6) Find a bath tub. Turn it upside down. Remember where it is.
7) Take out all the cash from your bank. We all know how important vending machines are post-apocalypse.
Cool Find 2 or 3 close friends and smoke the biggest joint you've ever rolled with them.
9) Hallucinate and green out. Pass out in upturned bath tub.
10) Wake up and feast on corpses until you find a lady. Proceed to inject your semen into her. Wait for next apocalypse.

If you forget which step you're up to, repeat steps 3 and 8 until it doesn't matter anymore*

Thank y'all fo listening, dawgs. See yo asses on the flip side.




*Repetition of steps 3 and 8 will result in death by apocalypse.

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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by Furburt on Thu Dec 20, 2012 12:15 pm

I'll only remember 8.

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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Thu Dec 20, 2012 2:01 pm

The apocalypse is looking better already! Then again, I have no idea what the secret step 8 is so I'm just going to roll with Cool instead.

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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by Guest on Thu Dec 20, 2012 2:21 pm

Surviving? I take it you don't want the real apocalyptic experience. You end of the world poser.

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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by Xandy on Thu Dec 20, 2012 4:00 pm

1) Find a young virginal woman
2) Knock out with drugs/blunt object
3) Climb to the top of the CN Tower
4) Tie sacrifice to the highest point of the power
5) Do a niggish voodoo dance
6) Cut out virgin's heart, hold it to the sky
7) Crisis averted

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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by ggggggggggg on Thu Dec 20, 2012 6:10 pm

You don't even fuck the virgin.


What are you, gay?

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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by Xandy on Thu Dec 20, 2012 6:40 pm

IF I FUCKED HER SHE WOULDN'T BE A VIRGIN DUMBFUCK FUCK

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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by LordCuthberton on Thu Dec 20, 2012 6:41 pm

I have asthma. I'm short changed in every apocalypse.

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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by ggggggggggg on Thu Dec 20, 2012 6:43 pm

Well that's the point. Take the virginity for yourself, not some gay ass god.


And wasps don't make honey Nightyswim. They're useless creatures that exist solely to annoy people.

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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by DoomyMcDoom on Thu Dec 20, 2012 8:19 pm

My apocalypse survival plan involves one step...

1.Don't die.

Pretty simple, considering that's the step that's kept my ass from being killed by all of the predicted apocalypses so far, and even actual life threatening injuries...
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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Thu Dec 20, 2012 11:52 pm



YOU CANNOT STOP IT

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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by LordCuthberton on Thu Dec 20, 2012 11:55 pm

STOP READING MY THOUGHTS

I literally texted that about 3 minutes ago to a friend.

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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by NightSwimming on Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:14 am

I typed out a lot of replies and the internet turned itself off as soon as I hit reply.

Internet not work? MUST BE APOCALYPSE!

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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by Xandy on Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:41 am

>you will never live to see Christmas

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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by DoomyMcDoom on Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:44 am

I live to see christmas every day thank you very much... know why?

I AM CHRISTMAS!!!
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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by Xandy on Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:48 am

Give me my fucking toys.

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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by DoomyMcDoom on Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:50 am

NO! You get coal!
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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Fri Dec 21, 2012 1:25 am

>Australia

HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE

HAS IT HAPPENED?

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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Fri Dec 21, 2012 1:29 am

Anyone wanna watch a stream of the nuclear apocalypse movie Threads?

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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by NightSwimming on Fri Dec 21, 2012 3:09 am

What's the movie playing at the moment? Also which site are you streaming from? In Aus we don't have access to a lot of high end streaming sites.

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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Fri Dec 21, 2012 3:35 am

I was just going to use synchtube, the movie's on youtube.

I haven't started it yet, just killing time watching some Russian war movie.

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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by Guest on Fri Dec 21, 2012 8:15 am

My milk expires today.

Sign of the apocalypse.

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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by NightSwimming on Fri Dec 21, 2012 9:12 am

I ran outta milk. Ain't nothin compare widat Stinky-C.

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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by Guest on Fri Dec 21, 2012 9:14 am

NightSwimming wrote:I ran outta milk.


Tell me you're joking.

1 Corinthians 13: AND THE DEVINE LORD DID SAY "ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE"

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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by NightSwimming on Fri Dec 21, 2012 11:38 am

Aint nothing not a drop left, mang.

I nearly fuckin' kneecap my damn self for bein too lazy go fo walk to the shops.


Thank god I'm nearly finished watching The Wire. This talking like a nigger isn't good for my white female nature.

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First thing we gotta do is get rid of all these shamrocks.
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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Fri Dec 21, 2012 11:43 am

Nigga y u playin' checkers on a chessboard?

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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by LordCuthberton on Fri Dec 21, 2012 1:25 pm

Night: I found myself doing that yo'

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Re: Surviving the Apocalypse

Post by NightSwimming on Sat Dec 22, 2012 1:30 am

Where's Wallace, Sting? WHERE THE FUCK IS WALLACE, STING? WHERE WALLACE? WHERE FUCK WALLACE STING! STING WHERE WALLACE FUCK STING WALLACE WHERE AT STING?!

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