The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by MilkyFresh on Tue Dec 18, 2012 11:22 am

Suicides aren't really a factor man, you can kill yourself just as easily with a belt.

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Tue Dec 18, 2012 11:26 am



You tell em Stank! I ain't got the words or effort to fight this battle but you tell em man!

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Hubilub on Tue Dec 18, 2012 12:32 pm



I surrender!

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by PayJ on Tue Dec 18, 2012 6:35 pm

Yaaaaaaaay No guns for anyone except the oppressive government. Which they don't even need anymore because they have drones. Everyone's a winner.

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Hubilub on Tue Dec 18, 2012 8:45 pm

And with Hubilub's defeat, there was noone to stand in the way of the government banning every firearm ever made.

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by PayJ on Tue Dec 18, 2012 9:04 pm

Legally you can own and operate muskets in the UK. Which is a pretty cool way to force women to perform oral sex in an alleyway.

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by LordCuthberton on Tue Dec 18, 2012 9:15 pm

"SUCKETH THY PASSION STAFF WENCH"

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by MilkyFresh on Wed Dec 19, 2012 12:34 am

To quote my best friend's dad every single time he gets drunk:
"I SHOULD BE ABLE TO HAVE MACHINE GUNS ON MY FUCKING CAR"

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Wed Dec 19, 2012 1:16 am

I agree, who wouldn't want to mount a MG42 on the roof of their car and drive through a crowd of seagulls, guns blazing.

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by MilkyFresh on Wed Dec 19, 2012 1:45 am

Nobody would not want to do that. My other favourite thing that he has shouted when drunk is:

"THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH OLD CUNT"

Another irrefutable statement

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Wed Dec 19, 2012 2:23 am

Your friends dad sounds like a sage to us all.

Any more? These are gold.

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by MilkyFresh on Wed Dec 19, 2012 2:27 am

I can't remember any off the top of my head, but he is a fucking hilarious guy. His great passions in life are misogyny, sex with anything that moves and box wine.

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:36 pm

How did I miss this!?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/dec/20/bernstein-murdoch-ailes-petreaus-presidency

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Furburt on Tue Dec 25, 2012 2:47 am



Fucking war films have nothing on this. 3:26, my dear lord.

Prepare to hear the words Allahu Akbar a lot.

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Wed Dec 26, 2012 8:32 pm

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO MOHAMMMMMMED!!!!

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Hubilub on Fri Jan 04, 2013 11:26 am

The Supreme Commander of the Swedish Armed Forces has come out and said that if Sweden was ever attacked, we wouldn't even last a week with the current military forces we have. Even if we'd rely on outside help from the US and Nato, we'd need a military force that could hold out for at least a month for it to do any good.

So if anyone wants to invade, now's a good time to do it.

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Fri Jan 04, 2013 11:36 am

I think we're good to be honest.

As is the rest of the world. Although you may find yourselves being forced into slavery working in a Chinese sweatshop.

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Hubilub on Fri Jan 04, 2013 11:57 am

Dem Chinese want to eat us

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Fri Jan 04, 2013 12:54 pm

Apparently, your pure Nordic stock is a delicacy over there.

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Movie Martyr on Sun Jan 06, 2013 5:21 pm

HOCKEY IS BACK! Or, at least, it will be in the very near future. The NHL and NHLPA finally got their shit together and we'll have a season.

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Hubilub on Mon Jan 07, 2013 7:50 pm

So a few weeks ago there was this robbery in Stockholm. About five or six guys packing AKs drove up in an SUV outside a gold store and started stealing shit. However, they didn't count on there being police in civilian clothing nearby. So the cops, who are only armed with handguns, engage the perpetrators, and a firefight ensues. One of the robbers gets shot in the head, and then the rest of his friends escape in the SUV, running him over as they escape. The robber who got shot in the head is still alive, however, and might just recover.

But now there's a big controversy over the cop who shot the robber in the head, because... I have no idea. Six guys armed with AKs start shooting at two police officers, how is it not a justified shot to retaliate and shoot one of them in the head? It wasn't an execution, the cops were like 30 feet away.

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Mon Jan 07, 2013 8:10 pm

Sweden is to lefty for its own good sometimes.

THEY SHUD HAVE SET DER PHAZERS TO STUN! SHOOTING TO KILL IS WRONG!

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by PayJ on Mon Jan 07, 2013 8:14 pm

It's like the media prattling on about how police run over some 13 year old girl while chasing down a perp. Yeah it's awful but it's really not the policeman's fault what was he supposed to do obey the speed limit while the crook got away?

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Mon Jan 07, 2013 8:46 pm

A better question would be is why the 13 year old was in the middle of an active police chase? Like, you can hear the sirens for a fucking mile away and determine when they're getting closer, wouldn't any reasonable person stay on the sidewalk instead of crossing the road?

Also, can someone explain to me why this whole India rape thing is so big? Alright, yes it's tragic and horrific, but what's with all the upheaval and protests? That rape is bad? No shit.

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by PayJ on Mon Jan 07, 2013 8:53 pm

Mmm I don't know the specifics. Maybe she was an orphaned, paraplegic, blind, deaf and dumb girl and her carer dive out of the way to save herself. Then later committed suicide due to the crippling guilt and her failing marriage. Maybe the mother swore a vendetta against the system and is currently working her way up through government to cripple to men in blue.

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Xandy on Mon Jan 07, 2013 10:03 pm

If I stepped on a nail while breaking into someone's house in Sweden, could I get the homeowner into shit for leaving dangerous exposed objects lying about?

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Mon Jan 07, 2013 10:13 pm

Hell, you could have him slapped with hatecrimes because you're brownish.

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by MilkyFresh on Mon Jan 07, 2013 10:38 pm

Fucking Sweden, fuck that place.

What's this India rape thing? I didn't get caught did I? Because I pay the Indian government good money to keep my annual trips under wraps.

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Mon Jan 07, 2013 10:40 pm

Get your nephew to do it instead I can see the headlines now.

" BOY OF 8 IN HOSPITAL AFTER RACIST ASSAULT "

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Mon Jan 07, 2013 10:49 pm

I'm glad I'm not the only one who didn't get the India shit. And what about the Pakistani girl who got shot by the Taliban?

They flew her over to Brum to get treated and the local papers will not shut the fuck up. Front page news every fucking day. "MALALA CHECKS IN AT HEARTLANDS" "DOCTORS SAY TALIBAN VICTIM'S CONDITION IMPROVING" "GUN SHOT WOUND MALALA LEAVES HOSPITAL"

Sorry, but why the fuck is this local news? What effort did anyone in the Birmingham council make to further any sort of movement? The only reason she came here is because we have technology and free healthcare. That does not give every Birmingham and West Midlands news agencies the right to proclaim that our county is the defender of free speech, saviour of the unheard or somehow making an effort against the Taliban. I would love to see our Mayor or any official try and help the cause in any way. Can you imagine what anyone would say if they openly supported her by donating money or offering her a home?

I say imagine because Hell will freeze over before our lazy ass bureaucrats consider actually doing something rather than involving themselves, giving out interviews for fuck all and generally, trying to take credit by association for something they had nothing whatsoever to do with. I would just love the leader of the Taliban to release a response to one of those fucks.


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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Mon Jan 07, 2013 10:54 pm

@Hub: That makes me thing of something from American History X.

"We place a certain amount of trust in police offers to make those sorts of calls... Regardless of the outcome, as long as they followed the rules, there should be no question of whether what they did was right or wrong."

Norty Norton may refer to a ridiculous example but it's something I have thought about a lot upon re-viewing. The lack of faith in authority is probably pretty unjustified the more I think about it.

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Mon Jan 07, 2013 11:02 pm

Call me cold and callous, but I don't get why they brought her over in the first place.

Yeah, Britain has free and good quality healthcare, but I thought the whole point was that it was for British citizens? Sure, I mean someone visiting the country should be able to get treatment if they get injured or sick, but what's the fucking point of flying over people from every shithole country for free healthcare? Yes it's egalitarian and whatnot, but they're taking up resources, effort and time from a country that they never contributed to and never will, to the detriment of those that do.

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by MilkyFresh on Mon Jan 07, 2013 11:05 pm

Yep. Free healthcare ain't free, and you haven't got any claim to it if you don't pay taxes in that country. Plus brown people are yuck

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Mon Jan 07, 2013 11:09 pm

I'm just saying that I don't understand it, it'd be like the government here providing welfare for foreign citizens in other nations, I'm glad the girl got treated and whatnot, but I don't understand why she had to be brought all the way to Britain and treated. Aren't there hospitals in Pakistan or UN medical aid services there?

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Mon Jan 07, 2013 11:20 pm

Like, say for example, some guy in the states has a heart attack and needs surgery, but he can't afford it there, so they fly him up here, bing bang boom, he's healed and on a plane back to the states in three weeks.

This doesn't strike anyone else as odd?

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Tue Jan 08, 2013 12:18 am

You have to be a citizen unless it's an emergency, I believe. I'm not sure if we gave her asylum or what.

I hate to sound racist but can you not foresee failed asylum seekers using high profile cases such as this to get into a country? If your willing to swim the Channel in winter then I can't see what would stop you from trying something like that? (Not that I think this I was just considering it as a potential situation.)

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Tue Jan 08, 2013 12:20 am

ALSO:

PLEASE TELL ME SOMEONE ELSE SAW THIS

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-20935502

IROOOOOOOONY!

(Well, not really because in his mind, us Whiteys can't do no crime.)

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Tue Jan 08, 2013 1:22 am

Mr. Wiggles wrote:You have to be a citizen unless it's an emergency, I believe. I'm not sure if we gave her asylum or what.

I hate to sound racist but can you not foresee failed asylum seekers using high profile cases such as this to get into a country? If your willing to swim the Channel in winter then I can't see what would stop you from trying something like that? (Not that I think this I was just considering it as a potential situation.)

We had something like that here, two boatloads of refugees from Sri Lanka basically crashed into our west shore and claimed that they were refugees, despite the civil war winding down and peace being secured later, we've had to deport a number of them for ties to terrorist networks and attempting to build cells here in Canada. Humanitarian intervention and asylum is great, but there's a line that has to be drawn in the sand.

Going back to the original point, one of the main reasons for bringing her here was that she wasn't safe from the Taliban and could be attacked in the hospital, well if her life would still be in danger, doesn't that mean that there's an argument for her to stay permanently in Britain? Sets a dangerous precedent in my opinion.

Also,

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/sep/07/canada-tamil-refugees-racism-debate

Fuck The Guardian.

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Pararaptor on Tue Jan 08, 2013 3:38 am

With the Pakistan girl, I see it as kind of a media thing. Reporters find this girl who's a primo example of the Taliban doing wrong by someone we see as innocent- this wouldn't have happened if she was shot for sleeping around because a significant enough amount of people in the West could find that objectionable, not so many would be bothered by her teaching that they could just be written off.

So they've got this girl and make her into a poster child victim of the Taliban. This sells newspapers, earns viewers and news site hits and puts the issue in the public eye.
Now that it's an issue everyone's aware of the government start feeling the pressure to do something about it. They ignore a hell of a lot of shit that goes on because no-one will call them out on it, but the media's ballsed them for circulation so they've gotta look after the girl to look good and win then next election.


As for the Indian girl, it's a bit different. India's apparently been a real shithole for women for a while, ludicrously high rape rate. 10 billion percent chance it's hyperbole but there was an Indian official on the news last night saying on average there's a rape reported every 20 minutes in India.
Because this girl was a particularly brutal instance in a public place and then died she's kind of a martyr for all the people who want the Indian government to come down harder on the rape epidemic. Less the cause of the riots and more the spark that ignited the shitload of brown kerosene.
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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

Post by Furburt on Tue Jan 08, 2013 4:47 pm

@Kharloth: Fuck the Guardian? Why? That's an article, not an editorial, and they have quotes from both sides. If you say that, then I could easily say fuck every right wing paper ever.

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Re: The News Thread! 3rd Edition!

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