Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Page 16 of 17 Previous  1 ... 9 ... 15, 16, 17  Next

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by NightSwimming on Wed Apr 24, 2013 3:03 am

I've been where you are Dooms, if not all of us here. I worked my fucking arse off to get myself out of it. It takes time. A lot of it. Patience. Even more of that. And overall, it takes courage. I've seen a lot of middle age & older people going through what I was, and it was the exact kick up the arse that I needed. I simply did not want to be like them. It was pathetic and infuriating. Every two months I am able to look back on my life and say I am better than I was then.
Basically, to be harsh, yet understanding, get up and try something. Try everything. It doesn't matter what it is, just do it.
Eat a single piece of fruit every day. Not even all at once. One bite at a time. If you don't finish it, who cares? Just do it the next day too. Aim to have one shower a week. Aim to get the mail. It doesn't matter what it is.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
First thing we gotta do is get rid of all these shamrocks.
Nothing scares gay folk and black people like Irish crap.
avatar
NightSwimming
Sexy Murder Victim

Posts : 1057
Leprechaun Gold : 4660
Pineapple Power : 415
Join date : 2011-05-29
Age : 26
Alignment : Aged 30. Non Smoker. Liar.
Location : Australia

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by DoomyMcDoom on Wed Apr 24, 2013 4:49 am

I shower every morning, shave my head/face every 2 days, I eat veggies fruit and meat, with rice, mainly brown rice, to fill it out where it needs to be...
diet and hygene are not my biggest problems, trust me.

It's mainly a thing about the fact that my brain is a twisted fucked up machine, that relies on certain substances to kick it back into place now and again, specifically some good ol marryjane, and I can't have it where I live.

That coupled with the fact that every damn time I get my finances and shit in order, outside forces FUCK ME UP THE ASS, and I'm back to square one, when by my previous worst case projections, I should be well on my way to a far better situation by now.

The fact that I have developed neurological issues due to a lack of positive physical human contact is something that eats away at my already unstable mind like a hamster in a bag of sunflower seeds, and due to both the wonderful herpes infection that I will carry till I die, and the fact that I have serious mold allergies(and black mold is pretty well what insulates the room in which I live/eat/sleep), it makes me less than... touchable...

My mental health just compounds all that shit, and I undergo an almost weekly soul crushing self loathing filled depression that's been slowly getting worse and worse, and it brings along insomnia for the ride.

Essencially even though I've been constantly improving my life over the last 3 years, with a few bumps, including homelessness, and starvation.
EVEN THOUGH, every problem I've faced in life (and I've had a LOT of problems to deal with in my life), I've eventually conquered, and nothing gives me more pleasure than kicking problems in the balls and getting shit done, it's really REALLY hard to see myself as anything other than a big fucking waste of space, when everyone even the most reclusive people, that I know, has had no problem finding someone to be with, and almost all of them have good jobs, cars, and talents which make them immediately my superiors in every way other than hurting people, which by the way, other than making fucking awesome food, and being good with numbers, is the only goddamn skill I have, and I fucking hate myself for that.
avatar
DoomyMcDoom
Luke Stairwalker

Posts : 84
Leprechaun Gold : 1978
Pineapple Power : 0
Join date : 2012-12-20
Age : 31
Alignment : Chaotic Awesome
Location : The Moon

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by PayJ on Wed Apr 24, 2013 7:16 am

You shouldn't base your self worth and existance on the ability to find a partner. I seem to be equally cursed in that respect and I've pretty much destroyed all my problems with depression and what not. So I think you should just worry about sorting yourself out first cause even if you find a decent girl in your current state all your problems aren't going to go away. Take a nice long walk in the countryside at the weekend. That shit always helps if the weather is nice. As far as for the rest of it I can only offer that you start a fitness routine cause that's what fixed my life pretty much.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Fix me a hot dog with jelly on
I've had cravings since withdrawing from
Low grade acid and cocaine bumps
I can't sleep at night or hold a decent job."
-Matt Berry
avatar
PayJ
And I'll Do Fitness

Posts : 13111
Leprechaun Gold : 47407
Pineapple Power : 22778
Join date : 2010-10-08
Age : 24
Alignment : Right or Left
Location : South East of England

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by DoomyMcDoom on Wed Apr 24, 2013 8:58 pm

it's not that I "base my self worth on my ability to find a partner." As much as "It gets mind bendingly lonely being me, I have pretty well nobody to hang out with who won't be making out with their girlfriend the whole time I'm there, so I tend to just sit alone on my days off, waiting for work to start again so that I can at least get payed to be bored out of my skull."

I could be as physically fit as ever and still just be bored off my ass, and lonely, cuz to be honest, being alone, is a bad thing for me.

And my main problems come from literally, NOT TOUCHING or being touched, in any way positively, IE no hugs kisses, handshakes, fuckall, that I'm starting to find the very thought of people touching me, scary, not consciously, but subconsciously, if I brush against someone, especially if it's a woman who I find attractive on any degree above "disgusting degenerate troglodite" level, my body gets this kinda full body muscle shock, it's rather unpleasant.

to give you perspective, the last time I was hugged, was.... last july... by my mom.
avatar
DoomyMcDoom
Luke Stairwalker

Posts : 84
Leprechaun Gold : 1978
Pineapple Power : 0
Join date : 2012-12-20
Age : 31
Alignment : Chaotic Awesome
Location : The Moon

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by PayJ on Wed Apr 24, 2013 9:04 pm

To be honest your life sounds worryingly similar to my life only I derive such great pleasure from physical pursuits and they have in-turn led me to pursue more social activities.

Just going to ask you this do you watch a lot of porn? Don't be ashamed or lie or anything cause it causes a ridiculous amount of problems in the head (social anxiety and all sorts of other shit). I was heavily addicted to the stuff and still to this day battle with it cause it's such a deep rooted addiction in your brain. I've got an addictive personality so it's awful. Although I am beating it. Sucks to admit but I had to get it out there.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Fix me a hot dog with jelly on
I've had cravings since withdrawing from
Low grade acid and cocaine bumps
I can't sleep at night or hold a decent job."
-Matt Berry
avatar
PayJ
And I'll Do Fitness

Posts : 13111
Leprechaun Gold : 47407
Pineapple Power : 22778
Join date : 2010-10-08
Age : 24
Alignment : Right or Left
Location : South East of England

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by DoomyMcDoom on Wed Apr 24, 2013 11:57 pm

used to, now I only even masturbate when I get to the point where my balls get sore, usually takes a few weeks, sometimes a month, sometimes longer, depending on my libido's level of activity, even then only for utilitarian purposes.

I always found porn made me feel shitty if I watched it too much, so I just kinda stopped.

I'm fortunate in that I don't have an addictive personality, which I find funny due to the fact that my entire family are alcoholics, and I never feel an addictive draw from anything, I rarely drink, I've started and quit smoking a few times, and I never really had trouble with the quitting part, I stopped masturbating regularily due to the fact that I found that it left me feeling drained, and physically weaker over time.

I mean for the most part I'm a machine, I do things, and I find that anything from working 72 hours straight with 3 1 hour breaks, to going days without food, to maintaining a meditative state for hours on end, easy shit.

But I have a very very hard time dealing with lonliness, it's kinda my bane, my one weakness, I can't fuckin' bear it.

I remember this dream I had, the best way to describe it, was to me, like being in my own personal hell, it felt like it lasted forever, and I just kept living out days, weeks months years, waking up going through the same kinda routine, but alone, with not another soul to be found... when I finally woke up I was so freaked out about it that I didn't sleep for 3 days, after which point I passed out without realizing it...

I spent 6 years of my life alone, no friends, minimal contact with family, and nothing to do, I HATE being alone.
avatar
DoomyMcDoom
Luke Stairwalker

Posts : 84
Leprechaun Gold : 1978
Pineapple Power : 0
Join date : 2012-12-20
Age : 31
Alignment : Chaotic Awesome
Location : The Moon

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by NightSwimming on Thu Apr 25, 2013 2:39 am

The only person who can stop your loneliness is you.
I'm don't mean "get it over it, move on, stop being sad" (because that's bogus and only people who don't understand think that works), I mean do something about it. Decide whether or not you want to be lonely and figure out why you are.
You can tell us all you want how you've tried etc, but ultimately you're making a choice. Join a club, any club. Old people bingo, anything. Older people don't want to hear anything that contains substance so you're free to go and make small talk without any social pressure.
Volunteer! Best part is you don't have to show up and there won't be a lot of people there so you can help the community and get to know a small number of people.
You have to make a decision on whether you're lonely because you hate it and it's a way that you get to emotionally torture yourself or if you really don't want to be lonely anymore.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
First thing we gotta do is get rid of all these shamrocks.
Nothing scares gay folk and black people like Irish crap.
avatar
NightSwimming
Sexy Murder Victim

Posts : 1057
Leprechaun Gold : 4660
Pineapple Power : 415
Join date : 2011-05-29
Age : 26
Alignment : Aged 30. Non Smoker. Liar.
Location : Australia

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by Guest on Thu Apr 25, 2013 3:44 am

Where do you live McDoom? I'm in West Aus if you want to chill.

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by DoomyMcDoom on Thu Apr 25, 2013 3:59 am

I live in Moncton New Brunswick Canada, and I will be doing more social stuff, eventually, it's just that I can't really get to anywhere easily on foot here, other than work and the grocery store, not really social stuff, and almost nothing is going on during my days off (normally wednesday and thursday) thing is, I've been looking, and other than spending time wandering around greeting random people on the street periodically I don't have many options socially, only places where people congregate nearby are the nightclub(horrible music, full of stink and drunk idiots, only one or two of the people I know ever go there and they do so on friday nights (when I work), or the two bars nearby, and even then, I've been to those, and the people who go there go there to spend time with people they already hang out with, it's a kinda cliquey thing, and I don't belong there, so other than sitting alone in a corner drinking there's no reason for me to go out to those places, especially as I don't have the money to blow on drinks.

Once I eventually move out of where I live(probably in july) and eventually get a vehicle/license(most likely sometime in november) I'm pretty fucking limited in where I can go, what I can do, and who I can meet.
avatar
DoomyMcDoom
Luke Stairwalker

Posts : 84
Leprechaun Gold : 1978
Pineapple Power : 0
Join date : 2012-12-20
Age : 31
Alignment : Chaotic Awesome
Location : The Moon

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by DoomyMcDoom on Thu Apr 25, 2013 4:00 am

I know it sounds like I'm just making a string of excuses, but really, I'm currently kinda stuck, and I'm mainly just venting, as I don't have people to talk to about this kinda shit anywhere else...
avatar
DoomyMcDoom
Luke Stairwalker

Posts : 84
Leprechaun Gold : 1978
Pineapple Power : 0
Join date : 2012-12-20
Age : 31
Alignment : Chaotic Awesome
Location : The Moon

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by PayJ on Thu Apr 25, 2013 7:04 am

Venting's fine here we all do it from time to time.

Do you live alone?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Fix me a hot dog with jelly on
I've had cravings since withdrawing from
Low grade acid and cocaine bumps
I can't sleep at night or hold a decent job."
-Matt Berry
avatar
PayJ
And I'll Do Fitness

Posts : 13111
Leprechaun Gold : 47407
Pineapple Power : 22778
Join date : 2010-10-08
Age : 24
Alignment : Right or Left
Location : South East of England

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by DoomyMcDoom on Thu Apr 25, 2013 7:35 am

No, but the person I live with is a relatively new acquaintance, and isn't exactly endorsing of my lifestyle, he's what I refer to as a straightjacket normie, restricted, yet not crazy, but totally against smokin weed, and has no understanding of depression, or the problems I face, and I'd rather not scare him, don't wanna be on the street again.
avatar
DoomyMcDoom
Luke Stairwalker

Posts : 84
Leprechaun Gold : 1978
Pineapple Power : 0
Join date : 2012-12-20
Age : 31
Alignment : Chaotic Awesome
Location : The Moon

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by DoomyMcDoom on Thu Apr 25, 2013 7:40 am

I mean, I'm not exactly normal in most respects, and the life I lead before moving to this side of the country wasn't exactly... Ideal... Let's just say I had to do things I would rather not have to do again, just to stay alive...

Whenever people tell me how nice I am, the phrase "Halo's painted on, sorry to dissapoint" comes to mind, I'm a good actor, probably the only reason I'm alive heh, always fooling those around me into thinking that I'm of sound mind, and happy, when I really feel like peeling them like a banana... Self control, something that is good that I have tons to spare, cuz with my thoughts that bubble constantly under the surface, I'd have killed myself or others on countless occasions over the years.
avatar
DoomyMcDoom
Luke Stairwalker

Posts : 84
Leprechaun Gold : 1978
Pineapple Power : 0
Join date : 2012-12-20
Age : 31
Alignment : Chaotic Awesome
Location : The Moon

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by Guest on Thu Apr 25, 2013 8:42 am


Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by NightSwimming on Fri Apr 26, 2013 12:53 am

At least you don't have to wait too long before things (hopefully) start looking up again.
It's hard enough living with someone who doesn't smoke, let alone someone who doesn't (or doesn't want to) understand depression.
I feel for you dude.
Here's definitely the place to have a vent to people who get it.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
First thing we gotta do is get rid of all these shamrocks.
Nothing scares gay folk and black people like Irish crap.
avatar
NightSwimming
Sexy Murder Victim

Posts : 1057
Leprechaun Gold : 4660
Pineapple Power : 415
Join date : 2011-05-29
Age : 26
Alignment : Aged 30. Non Smoker. Liar.
Location : Australia

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by DoomyMcDoom on Fri Apr 26, 2013 1:41 am

I do admit, that I love this forum for this kinda thing, even my closer friends, and most of my family, just kept bringin me down with shit whenever I tried to talk to them, or vent to them, or even explain things to them.

My mom doesn't know me, doesn't want to understand me, and even though "She cares"(for the imaginary version of me who she superimposes her own vision with whenever I'm around), any time I've had trouble in life, and tried to talk to her (she started those conversations), all she ever did was talk over me and try to force me to pray and leave it with god to deal with, I'm sorry, but I was a devout christian for years, and the only thing that brought me was worse torment, if there is a god, he doesn't give two shits about me, and it's pretty fuckin clear, that I gotta solve all my own problems.

My sister means well, but she's a controlling bitch who will treat you like an idiot and talk down to you if you don't follow her exact plans to the letter that she's constructed in her head for your entire life.

my aunts and uncles I rarely if ever talk to them, because they either don't know me and I'd rather not re-introduce myself as a broken shell of a man, because all that would do is worry them, or make them feel like I'm gonna try and borrow(see steal) from them because I'm so down and out.

Grandmother I can talk to, but she always gets on my case about shit that I can't deal with, and it just ends up with me listening to her go on and on about how her life sucks.

Only family member I used to be able to get along with, is dead, my great grandfather, he's the one who taught me a lot of fun shit he learned during WWII, and shared stories with me, and generally never tried to push me to do anything that wasn't what I wanted to do, it sucks that he ended up losing his mental faculties and dying after 10 years of mental torment...

Here, I can ramble, rant, or vent, and ain't nobody actin all high and mighty judgin my sorry ass, and it's kinda nice.

It's like, I know I can carry on, but having the burden off of my mind and knowing that I'm not just some freak who doesn't deserve to, it helps eh.
avatar
DoomyMcDoom
Luke Stairwalker

Posts : 84
Leprechaun Gold : 1978
Pineapple Power : 0
Join date : 2012-12-20
Age : 31
Alignment : Chaotic Awesome
Location : The Moon

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by Guest on Fri Apr 26, 2013 8:37 am

One quote that really spoke to me was:
“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.” Lao Tzu

Lao motherfucking Tzu father of buddhism and one hell of an existentialist thinker. I love the idea that we are seperate to our thoughts and it really ties into my worldview.

I haven't suffered from clinical depression so obviously I'm blowing air out my ass but it seems to me that the internet is a cause of depression simply because it encourages self deprecation.

Intrusive thoughts are not you they're prickles. For a while I had anger problems because I admired anger, as stupid as that sounds. For a little while I was depressed because I was inactive and surrounded by self professed losers on the internet.

It seems to me that I am a fickle thing and in many ways "I" am a relatively insignificant factor in my life. All the good stuff in my life is a result of me exerting my control over my own thoughts. Its a topic about which I have trouble explaining myself, I need to sit down one day and put this in as concise terms as I can.

tl;dr: I think that, to some degree, how much 'you' enjoy 'your' life is a choice. Theres probably some simple, easy task you could do every day that would make you happy/excited to get on with but its really hard to do easy, simple, life improving things.

One character who stands out to me is the old asthmatic from Albert Camus' Plague. I would strongly recommend reading Camus to anyone who hasn't. His books are very emotionally lacking, but when you thin about his works they're very interesting and fun.

Fuck my tl;dr is long.
tl;tl;dr;dr: What the fuck even are we?

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by DoomyMcDoom on Fri Apr 26, 2013 9:50 am

The way I see it, my depression comes from a combination of the damage that the goddamn meds they had me on caused, some of which are no longer on the market for causing lasting brain damage, fuck doctors and their prescriptions for EVERYTHING...

Combined with the way I was raised, in a home dominated by women who were manipulative and constantly at war with eachother, I was a pawn, of little worth, the staple scapegoat for everything, generally taught that my worth should never be calculated to be above that of others, and to live as a servant to others til I die... continuing on into early school years where I was bullied incessantly, to the point where I developed a level of constant rage that couldn't even be extinguished with heavy sedatives, I started fighting alot, swearing constantly and creative, and descriptive death threats became a way for me to greet my tormentors, by 8th grade I had become a suicidal self loathing wracked emotionally deficient social outcast, all I knew how to do was scare people, distancing myself from the norm enough that people feared to be in my presence because of my violence in the past.

So, I've been fighting behavior and thought patterns that've been my bread and butter for survival since I was a toddler...

Fact is, due to how deep the programming went, and due to some of the disconnects in my brain when it comes to the feeling and understanding(see rationalizing) emotions, I have a very hard time feeling anything in between a kind of coldly burning self hate, and a kind of half numb feeling during which I can feel a bit happy... I did fall in love once, but that's an extreme anomaly which ended in a pain, partially due to being out $1000 thanks to that ungrateful, cold hearted, thieving cunt, but that's another story, and I don't attribute that to my own failure, in as much as letting myself trust someone enough that they'd have that kind of opertunity, most people never see beneath my many masks.

Hell, the fact that I'm being as open about shit here is practically a ground-shattering level of progress, that or it's because I don't give enough of a shit about my life to worry about whatever consequences speaking this openly may bring upon me should it be linked back to me in a direct personal context.

Either way, y'all get to read some shit about a fucked up sonovabitch from Canada, and for the most part it's pretty unlikely to haunt me for telling y'all this shit, and it gives me a space to vent without being called out as a freak, or having the knowledge of my worst attributes spread throughout all of my social circles, thus ruining the only thing I have, my reputation.
avatar
DoomyMcDoom
Luke Stairwalker

Posts : 84
Leprechaun Gold : 1978
Pineapple Power : 0
Join date : 2012-12-20
Age : 31
Alignment : Chaotic Awesome
Location : The Moon

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Sat Apr 27, 2013 3:26 pm

I feel sorta guilty sharing this, after that there Doomy. I'm planning to boast about the recent flourish in my sex life, but I feel bad, that I have no advice to offer whatsoever. Other than my normal reaction to this situations "Fuck......" Well all I can say is, acquire a friend and get licked* with them often. It keeps me happy anyway.

*That means drunk not literally licked, although you may consider this if you are very close friends.

It's been a while since I came here, so to fill you in, I had a break-up which was okay at first (despite her cheating), still friends or whatever, we actually got on quite well, um yeah.... and then I just keep hearing petty bullshit come back to me. She's telling everyone, I'm bi (true) I'm virgin (I fucked her and she still says that) I'm in love with her (NEVER EVER SAID THOSE WORDS TO ANYONE BUT MY MUM) I spent all money on acid instead of taking her to dinner (I did buy some acid, I did have some money to spend, but fuck off was she ever getting dinner). Oh and apparently a month later, I keep telling her to kill herself and for that reason, all my friends should stop talking to me. Called me a cunt, because she anonymously asked me if I loved her.

Hang on let me share....1) http://ask.fm/GoodMorningMrNice/answer/33296325434 2) http://ask.fm/GoodMorningMrNice/answer/33300629818

Yeah.... I don't really know what to say. A lot of shit has happened.

I confronted her about it after a week of being apart and she just said "Well, that's what you said to me!". I never said those thing or anything like them. The worst part is she is also bi but she still uses it as a weapon to try and alienate me. I don't know. On the bright side, anyone who matters knows what I'm like anyway, so they know I'm not a psycho-virgin. Even her own friends know she lies so they take it all with a pinch of salt. (Note: Can't remember if I mentioned it but we share a friend group which makes things awkward at times, no one really takes sides though and if they have I don't hear about it.)

I don't even care anymore, which is why haven't posted about it yet, I've moved on and to be honest, it pisses me off but I just couldn't give a fuck about the latest rumour about me. It's just more annoying that considering the time I was with her, I've received far more shit both after and during the relationship compared to what I got out of it but ah well, life goes on.

Well now, the intro is out the way. Welcome to my current problem. My black friend (yes, race is important) has decided he's bi and wants to have sex with me and another guy I hang out with wants me as well. Bit awkward, that I have to choose one and the other chap is going to be put out. And I know who I would prefer but I don't really want to do anything for fear of hurting poor black guy. The guy moved here recently, doesn't know many people and I'm the only person he's told about his sexuality. Considering the above, any move I make is going to spread around like wildfire, and I will feel fucking raving on the lad, and many people may hate me for it.

But alternatively, I love the guy but I'm not going to have sex with him out of peer pressure. Also he doesn't really know what he wants, like he'll talk about shit and then just say "forget it" or "I was high" really what I'm asking is

Tl;dr does it make me a cunt if I don't help a lonely black man discover his sexuality and then have sex with a mutual friend instead?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You can buy a dream or two to last you all the years, and the only price you'll pay is a heart full of tears.
avatar
Mr. Wiggles
Professional Green Tea Enthusiast. It cures Space Aids dontcha know?

Posts : 5741
Leprechaun Gold : 26744
Pineapple Power : 15453
Join date : 2011-04-01
Age : 22
Alignment : Semi-sadistic Tea-drinking Schizophrenic
Location : Location LOCATION! (That was funnier in my mind)

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by PayJ on Sat Apr 27, 2013 3:31 pm

Jesus Wiggles you whore, you do get yourself into situations with people.

That girl sounds like a real bitch man. As for your gay issues I'd say just do it all and have it blow up in your face but that's probably what you want.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Fix me a hot dog with jelly on
I've had cravings since withdrawing from
Low grade acid and cocaine bumps
I can't sleep at night or hold a decent job."
-Matt Berry
avatar
PayJ
And I'll Do Fitness

Posts : 13111
Leprechaun Gold : 47407
Pineapple Power : 22778
Join date : 2010-10-08
Age : 24
Alignment : Right or Left
Location : South East of England

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Sat Apr 27, 2013 3:51 pm

I was gonna criticise your use of "gay issues" but it's pretty fucking appropriate hahahahaha!

Yeah that's what I want to do but I feel guilty and at the moment, all I have is the moral high ground. I don't want to be losing that really.

Oh fuck I never even mentioned the worst part! I told her to get tested as in mentally because she speaks to me like a delusional psychopath, which is fair enough, I guess. She then basically made it said in so many words, that she had deliberately got to get checked for STI's after having sex with me despite wearing a condom, because I'm bi. That was a bit fucking upsetting.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You can buy a dream or two to last you all the years, and the only price you'll pay is a heart full of tears.
avatar
Mr. Wiggles
Professional Green Tea Enthusiast. It cures Space Aids dontcha know?

Posts : 5741
Leprechaun Gold : 26744
Pineapple Power : 15453
Join date : 2011-04-01
Age : 22
Alignment : Semi-sadistic Tea-drinking Schizophrenic
Location : Location LOCATION! (That was funnier in my mind)

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by PayJ on Sat Apr 27, 2013 3:56 pm

Back hand her. If anyone says you are out of line say Sean Connery says it is ok.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Fix me a hot dog with jelly on
I've had cravings since withdrawing from
Low grade acid and cocaine bumps
I can't sleep at night or hold a decent job."
-Matt Berry
avatar
PayJ
And I'll Do Fitness

Posts : 13111
Leprechaun Gold : 47407
Pineapple Power : 22778
Join date : 2010-10-08
Age : 24
Alignment : Right or Left
Location : South East of England

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by MilkyFresh on Sat Apr 27, 2013 6:38 pm

Shit Wiggles, bitch is mental. Fuck the black guy, start a race war or something.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
WHY MONKEY, WHY?
No one loves a prick,
No one loves a coffee sniffing motherfucker.
avatar
MilkyFresh
Wizard of Piss

Posts : 9787
Leprechaun Gold : 38765
Pineapple Power : 22738
Join date : 2010-10-26
Age : 24
Alignment : Arseheart
Location : Australia

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Sat Apr 27, 2013 8:04 pm

I lied actually. I am fucking annoyed. I act like it doesn't bother me but life was already falling apart and now I'm a fucking paranoid wreck who can't go a day without thinking his closest friends have abandoned him or that everybody I know secretly talks about me and hates me.

That's sort of why I brought it up but I didn't really have the guts to admit it. It's fucking bullshit, I've fucking moved on yet this is fucking destroying my life. Everybody talks about me behind my back about private things. Things I never wanted them to know and I'm completely powerless. I can't do anything because I don't even know who talks shit about me anymore.

My best friend self harms and I can't fucking stop him. I can't get him help and I know it's only a matter of time before I'm at his funeral. I love him but I can't stop it. I can't talk to him all the time and he doesn't always want me. He knows I love him and I've tried putting in place measures to get him to quit but I can't. And I just know one day, it'll all get too much for him. He doesn't deserve any of it. He's been like a brother to me and I can't do anything but wait for him to die

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You can buy a dream or two to last you all the years, and the only price you'll pay is a heart full of tears.
avatar
Mr. Wiggles
Professional Green Tea Enthusiast. It cures Space Aids dontcha know?

Posts : 5741
Leprechaun Gold : 26744
Pineapple Power : 15453
Join date : 2011-04-01
Age : 22
Alignment : Semi-sadistic Tea-drinking Schizophrenic
Location : Location LOCATION! (That was funnier in my mind)

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by Furburt on Sat Apr 27, 2013 8:10 pm

I can offer no useful advice or reasoning beyond perhaps saying that these particular situations will feel the most crushingly intense at this point in your life than they ever will again.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
This device will make me famous
This device will make me fly
This device will make me holy
This device defies all laws

Laws that are stupid, and make no sense.

Big Black, Newman Generator

The New Adventures of Momo Murphy
avatar
Furburt
Arrested For Copying Dogs

Posts : 16683
Leprechaun Gold : 71961
Pineapple Power : 42707
Join date : 2010-10-08
Age : 25
Alignment : The Clan MacGinty, the Clan Nangle, The Clan O'Neill and the Clan Moriarty
Location : Éire.

http://steamcommunity.com/id/Furburt

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Sat Apr 27, 2013 8:13 pm

I know that's true. It does make me very aware that in the future, I am going to realise what a massive cunt I am. Thanks anyway mate (:

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You can buy a dream or two to last you all the years, and the only price you'll pay is a heart full of tears.
avatar
Mr. Wiggles
Professional Green Tea Enthusiast. It cures Space Aids dontcha know?

Posts : 5741
Leprechaun Gold : 26744
Pineapple Power : 15453
Join date : 2011-04-01
Age : 22
Alignment : Semi-sadistic Tea-drinking Schizophrenic
Location : Location LOCATION! (That was funnier in my mind)

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by MilkyFresh on Sun Apr 28, 2013 4:12 am

Fuck my shit Marcus, that is horrible. I don't think there's much I can say in the way of advice, but that's all fucking horrible. I hope it pans out okay.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
WHY MONKEY, WHY?
No one loves a prick,
No one loves a coffee sniffing motherfucker.
avatar
MilkyFresh
Wizard of Piss

Posts : 9787
Leprechaun Gold : 38765
Pineapple Power : 22738
Join date : 2010-10-26
Age : 24
Alignment : Arseheart
Location : Australia

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by NightSwimming on Sun Apr 28, 2013 4:37 am

Rumours are fucking shitful when they're circulating. But try to ignore as much of it as possible. It'll go away one day soon enough.
You're taking the moral high ground which is the only place you can be at the moment. Try talking to some of your friends group about how upsetting it is. They will have heard everything anyway so you won't have to do much explaining.

Also, why can't you fuck them both? Have a big ol' orgy. Are they asking to sleep with you because they know you're not a virgin, or because they like you?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
First thing we gotta do is get rid of all these shamrocks.
Nothing scares gay folk and black people like Irish crap.
avatar
NightSwimming
Sexy Murder Victim

Posts : 1057
Leprechaun Gold : 4660
Pineapple Power : 415
Join date : 2011-05-29
Age : 26
Alignment : Aged 30. Non Smoker. Liar.
Location : Australia

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Sun Apr 28, 2013 12:45 pm

@Milky: Thanks man, at this point all I can do is get up in the morning and live life.

@Ness: I did but I probably over did like constantly updating this group chat we had on Facebook. So it just seemed like I wasn't over her. I think they all just think I love her and I cant deal with the break up. Well the latter half is true anyway. I'm not sure how much difference it makes, nobody wants to split up the friendship group so like in the smoking area, there's generally always two crowds, one with me and then one with her and people move in between. And it's happened were they still go and hang out with her with out even saying hello to me. Literally walking past me and then speaking to her for an hour whilst I'm sat with some complete stranger.... Shit like that makes me worry. The most anyone will say is that she's "a bitch" behind her back, I'm not asking for a war of words but some fucking solidarity might be nice.

Aaaaaaand, if I have sex with one it will indoubtedly spread and hinder my chances of being inside the other. Regarding the other part of the question, my gentleman friend of ethnicity is very lonely up here and really really desperate, it has occurred to me that this may be a ploy to relieve said desperation. And the other guy, Jack, he likes me to an extent I think. Then again of late, I'm finding them both pretty fucking annoying. Maybe because they have failed to provide me with intercourse to date. That sounds like a reaction I would have.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You can buy a dream or two to last you all the years, and the only price you'll pay is a heart full of tears.
avatar
Mr. Wiggles
Professional Green Tea Enthusiast. It cures Space Aids dontcha know?

Posts : 5741
Leprechaun Gold : 26744
Pineapple Power : 15453
Join date : 2011-04-01
Age : 22
Alignment : Semi-sadistic Tea-drinking Schizophrenic
Location : Location LOCATION! (That was funnier in my mind)

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by Guest on Sun Apr 28, 2013 2:58 pm

Realised tonight all my missed opportunities and assburgers behaviour. Better start chilling the fuck out.

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Mon Apr 29, 2013 6:42 pm

Went to see a Doc today, got referred to a mental health clinic.

Coincedentally, last night every single one of her friends called her out on being a bitch publicly over Twitter. I can't describe how I felt. It was beyond happiness. I was literally shaking. Don't feel paranoid any more. It's nice.

Doc still thinks I might be depressed though, I firmly advocated a non-medicinal route and he agreed.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You can buy a dream or two to last you all the years, and the only price you'll pay is a heart full of tears.
avatar
Mr. Wiggles
Professional Green Tea Enthusiast. It cures Space Aids dontcha know?

Posts : 5741
Leprechaun Gold : 26744
Pineapple Power : 15453
Join date : 2011-04-01
Age : 22
Alignment : Semi-sadistic Tea-drinking Schizophrenic
Location : Location LOCATION! (That was funnier in my mind)

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Mon Apr 29, 2013 6:44 pm

Glad to hear that Wiggles.

Now go out and fuck that black guy.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Μολών λαβέ

Komrade Kharloth
God's Hero-man

Posts : 6523
Leprechaun Gold : 14614
Pineapple Power : 1892
Join date : 2010-10-09
Age : 24
Alignment : Orthodox
Location : Holy Scotia.

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by Furburt on Mon Apr 29, 2013 6:50 pm

Mr. Wiggles wrote:I firmly advocated a non-medicinal route and he agreed.

*knowing smirk*

Good stuff though man, glad to hear the worst may be over.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
This device will make me famous
This device will make me fly
This device will make me holy
This device defies all laws

Laws that are stupid, and make no sense.

Big Black, Newman Generator

The New Adventures of Momo Murphy
avatar
Furburt
Arrested For Copying Dogs

Posts : 16683
Leprechaun Gold : 71961
Pineapple Power : 42707
Join date : 2010-10-08
Age : 25
Alignment : The Clan MacGinty, the Clan Nangle, The Clan O'Neill and the Clan Moriarty
Location : Éire.

http://steamcommunity.com/id/Furburt

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Mon Apr 29, 2013 9:05 pm

The non-medicinal thing was solely based on the experience of you chaps and chappettes. Well done.

And, fear not. When I am done, something something buggery.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You can buy a dream or two to last you all the years, and the only price you'll pay is a heart full of tears.
avatar
Mr. Wiggles
Professional Green Tea Enthusiast. It cures Space Aids dontcha know?

Posts : 5741
Leprechaun Gold : 26744
Pineapple Power : 15453
Join date : 2011-04-01
Age : 22
Alignment : Semi-sadistic Tea-drinking Schizophrenic
Location : Location LOCATION! (That was funnier in my mind)

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by MilkyFresh on Tue Apr 30, 2013 4:09 am

That's awesome news Wiggles, fuck yeah

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
WHY MONKEY, WHY?
No one loves a prick,
No one loves a coffee sniffing motherfucker.
avatar
MilkyFresh
Wizard of Piss

Posts : 9787
Leprechaun Gold : 38765
Pineapple Power : 22738
Join date : 2010-10-26
Age : 24
Alignment : Arseheart
Location : Australia

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Tue Apr 30, 2013 9:16 pm

I know man it's nice to know, I'm not skitz or anything as well, seeing as my uncle is a paranoid schizophrenic whose mind has been melted by anti-psychotics and once tried to rape a nurse.

It's all looking up for the moment. Living day to day. Doc told me a good book to read and I've told all my college tutors so pressure has eased a bit. Yeah I'm just living life day by day and it's all getting a bit better.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You can buy a dream or two to last you all the years, and the only price you'll pay is a heart full of tears.
avatar
Mr. Wiggles
Professional Green Tea Enthusiast. It cures Space Aids dontcha know?

Posts : 5741
Leprechaun Gold : 26744
Pineapple Power : 15453
Join date : 2011-04-01
Age : 22
Alignment : Semi-sadistic Tea-drinking Schizophrenic
Location : Location LOCATION! (That was funnier in my mind)

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by GrinningManiac on Fri May 03, 2013 12:29 pm

Bit late to the party here but I'll say this

Doomy - you're not alone. There's a dozen people here for you. If that's alone then shit I'm alone 24/7.

Wiggles - I had the problem of reading your earlier posts - thinking of a reply- then having it resolve itself when her friends called her out on it. But I think what I wanted to say is good advice anyway:

If you're worried that your friends are gonna abandon you then they're not your friends. Those are fair-weather accomplices and you'd do well to be without them. Fortunately everyone seems to have come round your way so I guess that reiterates that they are, indeed, friends.

Also about your best mate. I have an ancient friend - like from when I was two years old to now - who has a crippling blood disease. He's got a few years left and it's a deffo he'll die young. I guess what I'm trying to say is - dat feel, I no it.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
मैं हिन्दी जानना चाहता हूँ…અને ગુજરાતી…ਅਤੇ ਪੰਜਾਬੀ…এবং হয়ত বাংলা.
Aprenderé a bailar salsa y nada detendrá me. 对不起我的中文不好,对不起我不知道你说什么。
Не слышны в саду даже шорохи. Все здесь замерло до утра, Если б знали вы, как мне дороги, Подмосковные вечера.
The problem with having an open mind, you see, is that people insist on coming along and putting things in it
- Sir Terry Pratchett
avatar
GrinningManiac
His Grace, His Excellency, The Duke of Ankh; Commander Sir Alasdair Lawrence

Posts : 5597
Leprechaun Gold : 15184
Pineapple Power : 3009
Join date : 2010-10-10
Age : 24
Alignment : Morally Unperturbed Mongoose-Man
Location : England

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Mon May 06, 2013 4:54 pm

Well.... Mission Accompished.

Whilst high on cocaine, I got head from a black man.

I think I should get into the music business.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You can buy a dream or two to last you all the years, and the only price you'll pay is a heart full of tears.
avatar
Mr. Wiggles
Professional Green Tea Enthusiast. It cures Space Aids dontcha know?

Posts : 5741
Leprechaun Gold : 26744
Pineapple Power : 15453
Join date : 2011-04-01
Age : 22
Alignment : Semi-sadistic Tea-drinking Schizophrenic
Location : Location LOCATION! (That was funnier in my mind)

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by MilkyFresh on Tue May 07, 2013 4:12 am

Goddamnit Ella is confusing me so fucking goddamn much. I have no fucking idea if she wants a relationship (which I can deal with) or something completely casual (which I can also deal with). She just keeps randomly switching gears with me and it is fucking mind boggling.
My best bet is that she does want a relationship and she's just kind of scared of them, because she's said as much a few times, but then how the fuck does that mean I'm supposed to act? When ever I start acting casual, which is apparently what she fucking wants, she'll drop something certifiably girlfriend-y on me just to fuck with my head I swear goddamn GODDAMN.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
WHY MONKEY, WHY?
No one loves a prick,
No one loves a coffee sniffing motherfucker.
avatar
MilkyFresh
Wizard of Piss

Posts : 9787
Leprechaun Gold : 38765
Pineapple Power : 22738
Join date : 2010-10-26
Age : 24
Alignment : Arseheart
Location : Australia

Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by Guest on Tue May 07, 2013 5:25 am

Oh btw mah dik/scrots all good now, has been for a while. Left yo guys all hanging on that one.

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

Re: Love, hugs and brutal fucking.

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 16 of 17 Previous  1 ... 9 ... 15, 16, 17  Next

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum