Create the worst game you can imagine.

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Create the worst game you can imagine.

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Fri Aug 03, 2012 6:06 am

Exactly as the title says.

Worst RPG Ever:
>Everytime you initiate a conversation with an NPC, they have an unskippable, lengthy monologue before you can talk to them. They repeat it everytime you talk to them.
>Finalboss is killed in a cutscene by the most annoying mary sue member of your party while she shouts some cringeworthy LOLRANDOM catchphrase.
>Moralitysystem that is lawful stupid. Execute a detestable bandit lord even though he drops his gun? Lose Karma and everyone hates you.
>Everytime you miss a strike or shot, one of your party member quips something about you sucking.
>Several forced stealth sections with huge amounts of guards that have the eyesight of an eagle with a pair of binoculars.
>Enemies are all just reskins of the same handful of opponents.
>Gold is hard to come buy and all the good items are stupidly expensive.
>Escort missions where you are swarmed by enemies and the person you are escorting just stands there taking hits.
>Inconsistentlevel design, suddenly your in a forest, then the next section is the arctic, then a jungle, then a desert, then hell.
>The final boss is your father, and he's the devil.
>Specialattacks are launched by pressing various keys in a certain combination in a short period of time, missing or screwing up will cause you to missand be stunned for several seconds and open to attack. Many enemies require combos to beat
>If you die, you are forced to restart the section at the very beginning, losing all your gold.
>No map or compass.
>Questdescriptions are extremely vague and don't specify important details ("Kill Daron", without even knowing who Daron is or where he is)
>WoW style fetch quests/ kill x number of y until you get x number of z.
>Platforming section with insta-death for missing a jump.
>Crashes every half hour.
>No manual save, autosaves at very distant checkpoints that can be missed easily.
>Extremely long and frequent loading times.
>Bringing up the menu doesn't pause the game.
>Staple RPG items renamed into stupid things (Health potion = Kendar Elixir), no item descriptions.
>Integration with facebook and twitter.
>Unkillable child thieves in towns that pickpocket you and run like the wind, they go "HA-HA" everytime they steal from you.
>Unable to start a new character unless you delete your current one.
>Shoehorned cliffhanger ending with no plans for a sequel. Ending line is "It's over" "No, it's just begun"
>Chaotic town battle with killable friendlies that die easily, if you kill one by accident the whole town turns hostile to you.
>Plot is pretty much you are the chosen one sworn to defeat an ancient evil.

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Re: Create the worst game you can imagine.

Post by Guest on Fri Aug 03, 2012 6:24 am

I already did, and uploaded it to this site.

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Re: Create the worst game you can imagine.

Post by Pararaptor on Fri Aug 03, 2012 7:00 am

You forgot to make the plot a transparent build-up to YOU being the villain and also a parallel to industrious man destroying the incredibly-in-touch-with-nature tribals.

Also the screen always has an animated banner ad at the bottom that has sound, and the game is subscription-based drop-in drop-out multiplayer. And the publisher makes it F2P in third-world countries (including Brazil) who also receive the special GOTY edition (only available to these countries) giving you all the best gear and the ability to kill anyone, including your team-mates, which other players fall under. Everyone with a normal copy of the game do not get these benefits.

DRM is an always-online memory and data usage hog that ensures you will always have terrible ping and a low framerate, which also requires a live video feed of you playing AND your screen -no software or hardwire provided, both feeds must be on the same screen. Game case and store receipt or a Steam window proving ownership must be on-screen at all times. The DRM also scans your system for pirated data and alerts a consumer watchdog organisation of any illegal material you have. All of your downloads (ever) and internet use is recorded as well.
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Re: Create the worst game you can imagine.

Post by PayJ on Fri Aug 03, 2012 7:46 am

Fucked up volume mixing. It'll go all quiet requiring you to turn up your speakers suddenly a large noise or a characters voice will be at maximum volume tearing through your speakers.

It won't work without a usb plug in which is an air horn which sounds at random intervals.

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Re: Create the worst game you can imagine.

Post by NightSwimming on Fri Aug 03, 2012 9:23 am

Komrade Kharloth wrote:>If you die, you are forced to restart the section at the very beginning, losing all your gold.
- If you accidentally kill a hostage by blowing up crates you thought were empty, you fail the mission and have to start at the beginning.

- No zoom on sniper weaponry.
- When in desert level, enemies shoot oil at you, covering your screen in black muck which slowly fades over ten seconds.
- No options menu to change controls.

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Re: Create the worst game you can imagine.

Post by Furburt on Fri Aug 03, 2012 9:30 am

The box is festooned with breasts and arses, but in the actual game, all the characters, female or male, are designed in that horrible RPG sprite way that makes all the characters look like children.

The entire thing is designed in the Aurora engine, so no matter what level you're in, it still looks like every single RPG ever made since 2000.

Being able to play drop in drop out multplayer on this game is a myth, a legend. Hushed tales are spoken about a great warrior, thousands of games ago, who once managed to get a connection to another player.

Morrowind combat.

Game ends so abruptly you end up staring in disbelief at the credits screen for a good 5 minutes wondering when the next level will start.

All enemies are clearly voiced by the same person.

Company making it gives obnoxious interviews about 'game-changers' and 'taking it to the next level'. Does not support game after release.

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Re: Create the worst game you can imagine.

Post by PayJ on Fri Aug 03, 2012 9:50 am

Constant updates that open up so many ports on your router it disconnects it every time you try to play it.

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Re: Create the worst game you can imagine.

Post by Xandy on Tue Aug 07, 2012 5:36 pm

WoW art style.

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Re: Create the worst game you can imagine.

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Tue Aug 07, 2012 5:41 pm

"FROM JOHN ROMERO, 3D WORLDS AND THE DEVELOPERS OF CLUB PENGUIN..."

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Re: Create the worst game you can imagine.

Post by Xandy on Tue Aug 07, 2012 5:43 pm

Also frequent cutscenes, at least four a level. The shortest is ten minutes long and the longest is an hour.

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Re: Create the worst game you can imagine.

Post by Hubilub on Tue Aug 07, 2012 7:30 pm

Coded by Obsidian
PC dialogue written by Bioware

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Re: Create the worst game you can imagine.

Post by Vallorn on Sat Aug 18, 2012 11:43 am

Hubilub wrote:Coded by Obsidian
PC dialogue written by Bioware
Release Timetable by Valve
Story by Square Enix
DRM by Ubisoft
... you know what I think I have it!
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Re: Create the worst game you can imagine.

Post by Alkaline on Sat Aug 18, 2012 12:45 pm

>Racing game
>Blue-shell-esque weapons every 2 fucking seconds

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Re: Create the worst game you can imagine.

Post by Vallorn on Sun Aug 19, 2012 10:20 am

Alkaline wrote:>Racing game
>Blue-shell-esque weapons every 2 fucking seconds
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Re: Create the worst game you can imagine.

Post by Guest on Sun Aug 19, 2012 12:00 pm

Story is written by Ryan.

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Re: Create the worst game you can imagine.

Post by owyn_merrilin on Thu Oct 25, 2012 5:19 am

PayJ wrote:Fucked up volume mixing. It'll go all quiet requiring you to turn up your speakers suddenly a large noise or a characters voice will be at maximum volume tearing through your speakers.

It won't work without a usb plug in which is an air horn which sounds at random intervals.

Sorry for the necro, but something I've discovered about that: for the most part, when you have problems like that, it's not the mix that's the problem. It's that the mix is targeting a properly calibrated 5.1 system, and you're listening on something more along the lines of the speakers built in to your TV. Heck, even a decent 5.1 system that hasn't been calibrated properly can cause it.

If you've got a decent system set up properly, dialogue intelligibility won't be a problem, nor will getting your ears blown off (if you're listening with dialogue at a comfortable level, that is). I mean, there's enough dynamic range in most systems for it to be a possibility, but I've never actually come across a mix that was that screwed up. Just speakers that weren't up to the task of reproducing it.
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Re: Create the worst game you can imagine.

Post by PayJ on Thu Oct 25, 2012 7:22 am

If I wanted to hear how my ridiculous ideas weren't grounded in reality I'd go to the street corner and yell about them in my underwear.

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Re: Create the worst game you can imagine.

Post by Vallorn on Thu Oct 25, 2012 7:27 am

PayJ wrote:If I wanted to hear how my ridiculous ideas weren't grounded in reality I'd go to the street corner and yell about them in my underwear.
Do that anyway. get pictures.

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Re: Create the worst game you can imagine.

Post by PayJ on Thu Oct 25, 2012 8:03 am

Society isn't ready.

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Re: Create the worst game you can imagine.

Post by Katzenjammer on Thu Oct 25, 2012 12:27 pm

Make society ready.

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Re: Create the worst game you can imagine.

Post by PayJ on Thu Oct 25, 2012 1:34 pm

Belated Happy Birthday man.

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Re: Create the worst game you can imagine.

Post by owyn_merrilin on Thu Oct 25, 2012 3:39 pm

It's not your ideas that aren't grounded in reality, though. It's that sound tracks for movies, TV shows, and videogames aren't mixed for TV speakers anymore. Very few people realize this, so you're nowhere near alone on it. Just kind of an interesting thing.
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Re: Create the worst game you can imagine.

Post by PayJ on Thu Oct 25, 2012 3:44 pm

Are you saaaying *hic* I'm gomosexual? *hic* I'll teach you a lesson!

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