Dictator Quest

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Dictator Quest

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Sat Jan 28, 2012 2:27 am

Congratulations, you have just become the leader of a small, largely unknown third world nation that is now firmly under your control! First off, let's get the basics of the game underway.

Rules: Practically none, but try to keep things within some balance of realism.

Format: The game will be a collective one, and will operate (mostly) on a month by month basis, I will present a number of pressing issues that you guys will decide how to act on, plus a free action to do whatever you want. The answers can pretty much be open ended, anything (within reason) is possible, the person with the most interesting or highly supported answers will be the ones chosen.

If the format seems confusing, just read a bit through the thread on /tg/ that inspired me to get an idea of how the game will run.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17659180/

Alrighty then, with the technical bollocks out of the way, lets get to the meat of the thread.

A: What kind of nation do you run?
1- A middle eastern nation?
2- An African nation?
3- A glorious, small, self dependent Asian nation.
4- A small tropical island in the Caribbean.

B: How do you wish to be called?
1- Grand Leader
2- Emperor
3- President
4- Strings - You rule from the shadows.

C: What is your nation's resources?
1- Oil! Lots of oil! Black gold.
2- Look at this rock, now look at me, now look back at the rock. The rock is now BLOOD DIAMONDS!
3- Golddddd, dig, dig, digitty dig. Gold makes the world go around!
4- Average resources (nothing special that you know of. Could discover things later.)

D: Political Alliances
1- Russia
2- USA
3- China
4- Self Reliant / "4th party."

F: Describe our leader, Male female, black white, name etc.

E: Name your nation.

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Re: Dictator Quest

Post by Xandy on Sat Jan 28, 2012 2:40 am

A: 1 for Allah.
B: Fuck all those our title should be "Rex", but said afterwards like a surname. For example - Ahmadinejad Rex.
C: 3 so we can equip the royal guard with nothing but gold-plated firearms.
D: 1 'cause Putin.
F: Middle-eastern female (because lol women in politics).
E: Trollakistan.

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Re: Dictator Quest

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Sat Jan 28, 2012 2:49 am

Very good, just some further fleshing out before we get into it.

Where are we located in the middle east? (Just pick a spot and I'll carve out a nation there)

What era is it? (Late 70s, mid 90s etc)

And finally, what is our leader's name/age?

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Re: Dictator Quest

Post by Xandy on Sat Jan 28, 2012 3:34 am

Somewhere near Israel.

Modern day.

Aliyah Rex, 30.

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Re: Dictator Quest

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Sat Jan 28, 2012 4:04 am



Red area is a rough version of the size/location of Trollakistan.

JAN, 2012, REPUBLIC OF TROLLAKISTAN

Alright, you, Aliyah Rex have been chosen as the new leader of the proud nation of Trollakistan after your father, the sultan, died of a heart attack in one of his many, many orgies. The land is mostly desert, with some slight foothills in the north, there are two major cities (which must be renamed by the new sultan(ess) as is tradition) and numerous small towns and villages in the nation.

Most of the population is rural and agricultural, and only a handful of industries (namely automobile and textile) are present in your nation. Much of your nation's wealth comes from the gold mines in the west part of the nation, we mostly sell it to neighbours and Russia.

We currently have pleasant relations with Russia and the neighbouring countries of Saudi Arabia and Jordan. We are not on good terms with the USA and Israel, your uncle having been implicated in a scandal where he hid several palestinians who were wanted by Israel in the palace.

CURRENT EVENTS:

-America is in the process of pulling out of Iraq, leaving more of the work unprepared and ill-equiped Iraqi goverment and shady PMCs, don't let the western news fool you, the war is still going as strong as ever.

-Iran and the USA are currently butting heads over the development of nuclear weapons, and several other incidents.

ISSUES

-The people want radio! Well, the peasants anyways, many of the towns and cities have it, but smaller areas are wanting to have this luxury as well. Do you want to spend money to set up broadcasting towers so the people can have this commodity?

-A European man representing an Italian bank wishes to front you the money for expanding the small gold mines in the foothills, in return for a 9% discount when purchasing it.

-Our military is flabby and outdated, mostly consisting of Soviet small arms and light vehicles purchased in the early 70s, your military advisors wish to modernize it.

-A small group of Imams come to you, demanding you enforce the prohibition of alcohol, lest Allah smite you for your wickedness! Under your father's regime, alcohol bans were not enforced, and there are a number of bars in the cities and towns.

-Free action, do damn near anything you can think of.

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Re: Dictator Quest

Post by Xandy on Sat Jan 28, 2012 4:30 am

Modernize the arm, then get the people their radios. Fuck the italians and imans.

Also demand a custom-made gold-plated deagle. Two in fact.

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Re: Dictator Quest

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Sat Jan 28, 2012 5:24 am

FEB, 2012, REPUBLIC OF TROLLAKISTAN

NATIONAL NEWS:

-Modernizing the army will take time, Russia has offered professional training to a small contingent of infantry (about 800) for a small fee, and a hairy man from an unspecified nation in the balkans has some stinger missiles for sale.

Our current military consists of 6000 troops, all infantry (armed with AKMs) with some mechanzied ability (we have about 20 BMPs), we have no airforce, artillery or any other branches.

-A Taiwanese company has been hired to set up broadcasting towers throughout the nation, TrollRadio will finally be able to reach all of our citizens.

-The Imams are enraged with your response and publicly condemn you, the population's response is a resounding "lol"

-Your dual gold plated desert eagles arrive, they are now strapped to your hips at all times.

CURRENT EVENTS

-America continues it's pullout of armed forces in Iraq, insurgents are stepping up attacks against the Iraqi goverment, destabilizing the country to an even greater degree. Perhaps there's an opportunity for us here?

-America continue their propagnda crusade against Iran, the EU imposes an embargo against Iran, and Iran cuts off it's oil supply to western nations, causing a signifigant jump in prices.

-Israeli fighter jets fire upon a Turkish civilian convoy heading for Gaza to deliver supplies, killing over 120 people, Israel claims the jets where fired upon while performing a recon flight over the area, while activists claim they were attacked without warning. Turkey's goverment is outraged.

ISSUES

-With the death of your father, the nations of Turkey, Jordan, China and Egypt have sent requests to set up embassies in your capital city, the only current embassy is Russia.

-Another minor drought has hit the farming lands, causing people to campaign for agricultural reform.

-The Iraq war is starting to spill over the border more and more, including a clash between Iraqi insurgents and BlackWater mercenaries 50km into our nation, no civilians were injured, but it's starting to worry our people.

-A hard looking bearded man arrives at your palace, speaking in a thick Rhodesian accent, he comments on your total lack of an intelligence branch and pitiful security. He offers you his services in improving both.

-Many of the prominent and powerful people in your nation have suggested that you find yourself a husband and pump out a couple heirs before "your cunt dries up"

-Free move, I would reccomend expansion of the gold mines.

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Re: Dictator Quest

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Sun Jan 29, 2012 1:50 am

>that feel when no one wants to play with you.

It's grade 1-9 all over again.

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Re: Dictator Quest

Post by Alkaline on Sun Jan 29, 2012 1:54 am

iknowthatfeel.jpg

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Re: Dictator Quest

Post by Xandy on Sun Jan 29, 2012 2:03 am

Set up an embassy with Turkey, and make sure to tell them that we strongly condemn the actions of Israel. Also look for a husband among the turks. We should also try and tighten up our national security in general.

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Re: Dictator Quest

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Sun Jan 29, 2012 2:44 am

MARCH, 2012, REPUBLIC OF TROLLAKISTAN

NATIONAL NEWS

-The first broadcast tower is up and running and the rest should be completed by may, the people are pleased with this.

-Turkey has set up an embassy in our capital, and we have set one up in theirs (question: what about the other countrie's embassies?) They thank you for your support in the convoy issue.

-The Rhodesian man, known only as James has set up an intelligence HQ in a non-descript office building in the capital city, your intelligence force is composed of about 50 Trollaki trainees, along with James and a dozen of his "friends" in charge.

-We have met a Turkish man named Erkan, he's a Turkish army officer turned buisness man, he's 32 years old and single, you get along pretty well, at least enough for him to be a token/trophy husband. Would you like to get involved with him?

-Your finances minister has taken the liberty of ordering new mining equipment from China to expand the gold mines.

CURRENT EVENTS

-A major insurgent offensive has begun in Iraq, as America begins to pull out the last of it's combat troops. Heavy fighting has occured in all major cities, death toll is close to 1000

-There are sparse rumours of civil disobidence in North Korea, a short grainy video has been leaked onto the internet, supposedly showing a small march of North Koreans demanding food from the government in Pyongyang.

-The Turkish goverment is becoming more and more agressive in it's condemnation of Israel, Israel has responded with thinly veiled threats against any sort of Turkish action, and the USA has spoken in support of Israel.

-The Mexican drug war has taken a new turn, the USA is cracking down hard on cartels operating within it's borders and there are rumours of covert actions against them in Mexico.

ISSUES

-With ever increasing hostility and destabilization in the region, Russia has asked your permission to set up a small military base in your desert (payed for by them), for training in desert conditions and to keep an eye on it's assets in the region.

-The drought has passed and the farmers are back to their fields, however the issue of agriculture reform still hangs in the air.

-Guns, guns guns! With the US pulling out of Iraq, they have sold large stockpiles of weapons to corporations in the area, who are trying to sell the things as fast as possible. We have the opportunity to purchase M16s, M4s, mortars, SAWs, humvees and other equipment for dirt cheap.

-Several of your top military staff want to mobilize elements of the army and put them as protection along the our border with Iraq, it will keep the war where it's supposed to be, but the US and Iraqi goverment won't be happy about it.

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Re: Dictator Quest

Post by Xandy on Sun Jan 29, 2012 2:47 am

Get cheap guns, deal with the farming issue, get the new Chinese equipment working the mines.

Also, have a music/propaganda video made boasting about us and Putin destroying Israel and liberating Palestine.

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Re: Dictator Quest

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Sun Jan 29, 2012 2:53 am

What about the potential husband, russian base, and army though?

You still have a free action too.

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Re: Dictator Quest

Post by Xandy on Sun Jan 29, 2012 2:57 am

Get married to hubby, let the russian have their base and keep the army as it is.

Also spend free action improving entertainment industry so we make a goo music/propaganda video.

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Re: Dictator Quest

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Sun Jan 29, 2012 3:31 am

APRIL, 2012, REPUBLIC OF TROLLAKISTAN.

NATIONAL NEWS:

-After spending some time together and him falling in love with you, you and Erkan announce that you will be married next month, the populace cheers at the news, as it gives them a day off and an excuse to start drinking at noon.

-Russia is very pleased with your decision, Putin personally offering his gratitude on a phone call. They have sent surveyors to your country to find a nice, out of the way place, the first troops will start setting up a base next month.

-The new song "Bomb the Jewmen" by the rock band TROLLAKISTAN STRONG is a huge hit with both Trollaks and Palestinans, Israel sends you a polite telegram politely calling you rampaging camel fucking whore and a picture of what appears to be Netanyahu performing goatse.

-The last radio broadcasting tower has been set up, just in time for the whole nation to enjoy that new sweet tune.

-The gold rush has begun! Gold mines are quickly expanding, creating new jobs that will stimulate the flaccid economy. Double bonus when we managed to discover a small trove of sapphires in one of the mines. The biggest one will be chosen for your wedding ring.

-The military is continuing modernization, we have oodles of American small arms (enough to equip our military thrice over), is fully mechanized (yay for humvees) and a full complement of light support weapons. Training is also stepping up, as the Russian trained contingent has returned home with a new vigour, they also begin training the rest of the army.

CURRENT EVENTS

-Former British PM, Margaret Thatcher has died quietly in her sleep, Tories mourn her passing, while Ireland, Scotland and North England celebrate.

-Chechens are causing trouble again, Russia is slapping their shit once more.

-American Republican candidate Ron Paul is picking up steam across America.

ISSUES:

-James, your intelligence chief comes to you, believing that one of your colonels (who he does not get along at all with) is corrupt and plotting against you with the Israelis. His advice is to remove him as soon as possible, or wait and see what he does.

-With your new military and rapid growth, China has taken interest in you as well, offering to train some of your troops to start the beginning of an air force (for a price), or to sell you 30 T-72s.

-A messenger from the Iraqi insurgents has come to you, asking for his force to be able to move/store men and supplies through your country. He tells you that the American puppet government will be overthrown, and that they won't forget this favor once they're in power. If the US catches wind of this, it could be very bad indeed.

-The issue has come up about the economy, because it was in the shitter before, no one gave a damn about it, but now it's starting to get some sembelance of life, there's a debate on how it should be run. Should the government have control over everything, or should Trollakistani companies be allowed a larger part in it, while the government just controls certain aspects?

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Re: Dictator Quest

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Sun Jan 29, 2012 5:48 pm

Mind if I join? If yes see below

A4
B Rt. Hon.
C2 Because... SHINYSHINYSHINY!
DD
E Rt. Hon. David Benson-Philips, British televisual icon
F The Kingdom of Devbenfi!

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Re: Dictator Quest

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Tue Feb 07, 2012 11:58 pm

GODDAMIT BLAMMIT, I FORGOT ABOUT THIS SHIZNIT.

(For funsies, you're being thrown into the same world as Xandy, also, time to abandon any sembelance of seriousness, it's filth and humour from now on)

Ah, the kingdom of Devbenfi, sparkling in the shiny carribean sea. You, the Right Honourable David Benson-Phillips are now the leader of this proud, tiny nation. You took power in a bloodless coup, as the newspapers are calling it, in reality you were having lunch with the former El Presidente, and jokingly said that it would be fun to run the nation, next thing you know, you've signed a paper giving you complete control of the government while the former president flies to America with a wheelbarrow filled with cash, laughing maniacally all the way.

The island is pretty flat,save for some pretty damn big hills in the center and northern parts of the Island, much of the population grows pineapples, fishes or mines for diamonds in the north. While the nation itself posesses great wealth, much of it was spent by the former president on hookers, cocaine and a failed attempt to make hookers out of cocaine. You currently have no real ties to any nations, and the future is wide open to you.

APRIL 2012.

NATIONAL NEWS

-You take power, the people rejoice.

WORLD EVENTS

-Same as Xandus, Thatcher dead, Russia kicking Chechneya in the stomach, RON PAUL 2012.

ISSUES

-Farmers are protesting about the new inclusion of the dreaded "banana" fruit, priests are foaming at the mouth with rage, citing it's phallic shape as sinful, gay pride activists are responding by growing banana trees in their back yards and frolicing in kiddy pools filled with them. Should we legalize the growing of the banana?

-A perpetually sweaty man in a suit and aviators arrives at your palace, it's quite obvious that he represents one of mexico's cartels. He asks your permission to build a dock and warehouse on the south side of the island. He promises that his men won't start trouble and you will get a cut of the profits.

-Yarrr, piracy is becoming a problem in the nearby areas of the water and the people are afraid of what the impact would be if they started raiding our diamond trading routes, your advisors are split between two decisions, starting a small naval force to crush the pirate menace, or hiring a private security company from America to take care of them

-Ahhh, the politics of shit, for most of it's history, people on the island have been shitting in outhouses that flow into the various streams and rivers on the Island, fishermen aren't happy about the disgusting smell and disease that affects the fish, and are petitioning you to find a way to dump said shit.

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Re: Dictator Quest

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Wed Feb 08, 2012 8:09 pm

Allow only regulated farmers to grow the banana. Restict its application to only prescribed medical use for asthma sufferers.

Arrest sweaty man, make him wear jester outfit and leave him nailed to a wall for people to throw things at.

Start naval force relying on trained dolphins covered in plastic explosives and have them attack pirates.

Begin construction of a sewage treatment facility called "Shit Creek".

Extra option. Begin space program in hopes of starting creating a permanently habitable emplacement upon the moon.

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Re: Dictator Quest

Post by Xandy on Wed Feb 08, 2012 8:18 pm

- track down general and personally execute him with deagles, then hang his body from above the entrance of the capital city

- take China's training offer and saw that we would look forward to further military co-operation in the future

- assist the Iraqis

- the government should have heavy control over the economy. Allow for a private sector in the form of companies and whatnot but ban corporations and keep companies from having a place in politics. We don't want to end up like the Americans.

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Re: Dictator Quest

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Wed Feb 08, 2012 9:37 pm

MAY, 2012, REPUBLIC OF TROLLAKISTAN

NATIONAL NEWS.

-The traitor Jew Colonel is executed by you on national TV, his corpse hangs from a telelphone poll, people pelt his corpse with rocks and rotten fruit.

-Two platoons arrive in China to begin training in cold war era MIGS and Hinds. China doesn't promise anything concrete, but does not discount the possibilty of military co-operation in the future.

-Iraqi insurgents have covertly set up some safehouses and storage areas just over the border. You get letters from several prominent leaders thanking you for your contribution the the liberation of the Iraqi people from the American infidels.

-You are married in the early part of the month. Daily bonings continue after the honey moon. Your wedding is televised and the people celebrate. 'Here comes the bride' is replaced with the star wars imperial march, the typical white dress replaced with a flashy military uniform.

-Russia has begun construction of it's military base.

WORLD EVENTS

-WAR! Israeli and American planes bomb key Iranian military and nuclear sites. Several are shot down, and their pilots executed. American and Israeli military forces move in, but are constantly bogged down by ambushes from Iranian military forces and militia. Long range missiles are fired at Israel, most are shot down, but a hanful hit Tel Aviv and the surrounding area, killing hundreds.

-Only coming to light now, it appears that the North Korean regime has been collapsing since Janurary, there are reports of widespread unrest, rioting and armed clashes between military and civilians. South Korea and Japan are on high alert.

-It appears that Ron Paul will be getting the Republican nomination for presidental candidate. The global elite panic.

-Anders Behring Breivik is shot dead by a survivor of the massacre. Few mourn his loss.

-There are reports of meetings between Russian and Eastern European leaders, something big is brewing.

ISSUES

-Turkey has approached you, asking for you to fly to Istanbul for a top-secret conference regarding some current events.

-Mandatory service? In an ever destabilizing world, some military and civil officials reccommended that a two year service in the army be compulsory for every male between the ages of 18-30.

-With the infiltrator in our ranks now exposed and the inability for the army to recognize and deal with it, there is talk of forming a paramilitary loyal only to you, akin to the SS in nazi germany. What sayeth you?

-Medicine and Education are both in a sorry state, doctors and teachers alike have petitioned you to set up a modern state hospital in the capital as well as a university.

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Re: Dictator Quest

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Wed Feb 08, 2012 9:57 pm

KINGDOM OF DEVBENFI, MAY 2012.

NEWS DE NATIONAL

-The growing of the banannaananana has begun, the gays celebreate, priests throw tantrums.

-The sweaty man vows venegance, as he dances in a flamboyant costume for nickels. The cartel send you the head of some random horse in the mail.

-Dolphins with mines ducttaped to their backs are released into the ocean, reports of dead foreign fishermen abound.

-Shit creek as the new seweage treatment facility has been called has begun to set up, turning feces into fertilizer.

WORLD NEWS:

Same as Trollakistan.

ISSUES:

-With the failure of the dolphin idea, your naval officers ask to be able to look around for cheap boats to hunt the pirates.

-With the American attacks on the cartels, the United states has sent you a telegram, offering cash and a trading contract if they be allowed to station some special forces there for a short period of time.

-Argentina's PM wants to set up diplomatic relations with you, your foreign advisor says "she wants to fuck", being friendly with the argentians at this time could slightly irritate the brits though.

-Brazil wants to have a soccer game, we have a small national team, what do you say?

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Re: Dictator Quest

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Wed Feb 08, 2012 10:36 pm

Divert section of the army to man small light water craft similiar to the pirates own ships. Craft are to be driven by the men of the failed dolphin navy whilst diverted soldiers deal with the pirate killing.

Send foreign minister, Charlie Mingus, to America in order to open negotiations.

Accept Argentina's offer, allowing them an embassy in the capital. However, threaten national newspapers into not making it front page news.

Hold a friendly match. However, select a team of filthy lepers instead claiming they are zombies who have arisen using the power of voodoo. They are at the will of their summoner, a Mr. Dave Benson Philips and will defend their nation's honour to the gra- beyond the grave!

Open discussions with Israel about possible trade agreements.

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You can buy a dream or two to last you all the years, and the only price you'll pay is a heart full of tears.
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Mr. Wiggles
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