Mall Fight

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Mall Fight

Post by Knife-28 on Sun Nov 20, 2011 10:55 am

In a time, beyond time. In a space, beyond space. There is a place filled with wonder and whimsy.
Just joking, this is Mall Fight, a place where you can test your worth against your fellow man with whatever instrument of destruction you can conceive, but they don't stay dead for long, The Mall has a habit of regenerating players killed in it's boundrys, a, respawn if you will. No prior experience required to join this symphony of destruction, just pick up an object and start killing.

Mall Fight is simple; everyone is trapped inside a giant mall, with no way out. Inside the mall are stores stocked for with every item imaginable, You want a pair of snazzy staplers? Got 'em. You want a quantum discombobulater? Go ahead. You want a Keanu Reeves statue? We have them as well.

Your aim?
Kill, bash and slaughter anyone and everyone, alliances are optional No one stays dead for long here in the mall and you can choose where you respawn.

Rules
There are few rules to this deadly game, but be sure to follow them, The Mall does not tolerate those who break them.
These rules are simple:
    You cannot posses items of a God-like or overpowered nature, nor become God-like or overpowered yourself.
    No leaving The Mall while still alive, it is perfectly fine to get launched out one of the windows, but only if your dead first.
    Die-Respawn-Revenge posts are frowned upon, their good every once in a while, but not all the time.

    And last but not least, have fun!

So without further adieu, I declare The Mall, open for business!
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I walk into The Mall, brushing down my very smart black suit and running a hand through my long blond hair, smartly tied back into a pony tail. "Let the games begin" I say, before walking over to the 'Sharp & Pointy Things' store and grabbing a pair of finely sharpened Tanto off the shelves.
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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Terria on Sun Nov 20, 2011 11:02 am

Thread derail.

Pomegranates or passion fruit?

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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Knife-28 on Sun Nov 20, 2011 11:52 am

"PASSION FRIUT!" I yell as I fire my crossbow at Terria, a passion fruit speared on the end of the bolt.
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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:58 pm

"POMEGRANATES!" I yell as I bombard the outsider with pomegranates.

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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Unabletothinkofname on Sun Nov 20, 2011 7:43 pm

What the fuck says the godmodding admin.

NO BRONIES.

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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Xandy on Sun Nov 20, 2011 7:48 pm

I fire a guided rocket at godmodding admin due to my suspicion of him being in collaboration with Zionists.

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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Unabletothinkofname on Sun Nov 20, 2011 9:21 pm

The godmodding admin fucks your shit up, sticks a shot glass up your urethra and gives you AIDS by smashing it with a lightbulb.

YEAH

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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Sun Nov 20, 2011 9:29 pm

I steal a four wheeler, and mount a semi automatic shotgun to the front of it.

I drive around the mall and come across a strange irish metalhead shoving broken glass into the penis of a taliban, I shoot both of them for lulz.

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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Sun Nov 20, 2011 10:00 pm

I detonate the car bomb placed inside the vehicle of a mad lumberjack who appears to be gunning down foreigners with a shotgun.

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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Xandy on Sun Nov 20, 2011 10:20 pm

I come back to life using my dark Persian sorcery and appear behind Wiggles. I then wrap a lynching noose around his neck and hang him from out the window.

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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Komrade Kharloth on Sun Nov 20, 2011 10:25 pm

The combination of the explosion and momentum of the vehicle send me flying across the square smashing a store window, stunning me for a few moments.

I use my magic woodsman powers to summon my moose, Layton, swing up on the saddle and pull out my fireaxe, riding like a winter wind, I approach the not-so-dead persian running from a hanging ginger scot, he turns at the worng moment and I bury my axe in his spine.

I shout my warcry of 'IM A LUMBERJACK AND IM SO GAY"

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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Sun Nov 20, 2011 10:43 pm

Using my ginger powers, I set the noose alight, breaking it. Brandishing my newly acquired flaming whip, I crack the rampaging moose in the behind. Prompting it to charge into the recently-built bear trap store. Moments later, it emerges covered in bear traps, limping along before collapsing into the magic well.

With the canuck and his moose trapped in the well, I take the opportunity to empty a convenient bag of nails from the nearby hardware store into the well.

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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Cool Guy on Mon Nov 21, 2011 12:01 pm

I post on a thread on a strange site. Then I see it's Mall Fight. I wonder how this happened. Then I go kill a man with a firefly wipe and a bunch on nails with a key board.
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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Xandy on Mon Nov 21, 2011 7:45 pm

I masturbate vigorously until I start cumming explosive semen everywhere and destroy the entire mall by flooding it with exploding cum.

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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Xandy on Mon Nov 21, 2011 7:51 pm

Well that was fun.

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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Katzenjammer on Mon Nov 21, 2011 7:56 pm

You suck Xandus.

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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Xandy on Mon Nov 21, 2011 7:58 pm

Shut up bitch, you didn't even help when Kharloth axed me. What kind of a healer are you if you can't even keep the party alive?

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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Katzenjammer on Mon Nov 21, 2011 8:14 pm

U mad brah?

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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Cool Guy on Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:01 pm

I drink all of the cum because one, I'm a fat fuck, and two, I'm a flaming bisexual.

I then start rebuilding the mall with dead bodies and use limbs are store items.
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Re: Mall Fight

Post by martintox on Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:03 pm

I burst inside the Mall, oblivious to the fact that I know nothing about the website that thread is on.

"Alright, bitches, time to-" (Me)

I then promptly die due to explosive semen.
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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Cool Guy on Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:09 pm

I use Martin's body as the subway restaurant, so he can smells sandwiches even in death, and that's because (he is your sandwich).
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Re: Mall Fight

Post by martintox on Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:14 pm

I respawn in a Subway restaurant, where I promptly get run over by a subway train.

I respawn in an Awesome yet Unpractical Store where I get myself spring boots and an Atomic Firecracker.
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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Cool Guy on Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:17 pm

I suffor from Pig aids and die. I respawn next to Tox. "Sup bro." and I kick him in the balls, and the repeat the scene from A Clockwork Orange with the cane and the hobo early on in the movie.
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Re: Mall Fight

Post by martintox on Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:22 pm

However, I have never seen A Clockwork Orange, so I'll just say I die and respawn in the morgue, where I steal Gaddafi's corpse.
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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Cool Guy on Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:26 pm

I rip off Tox's head like from Madness Combat and smash it into the ground for two reasons.

One, that bitch never saw Clockwork Orange.

And Two, he took that joke from Mall Fight on the Escpaist and is unoriginal.
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Re: Mall Fight

Post by martintox on Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:34 pm

I respawn inside Connor's head.

Okay, no.

I respawn in the food court, where I make myself an armor out of sesame seeds.

I then run up to Connor and stab him multiple times in the head with a kitchen knife.
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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Unabletothinkofname on Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:48 pm

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS

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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Cool Guy on Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:55 pm

Tox is a guy who once new Xandus in Mall Fight on The Escapist before he was banned, and I'm some random douche bag and shit.
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Re: Mall Fight

Post by martintox on Tue Nov 22, 2011 12:02 am

I state my agreement of the Cool Guy's statement.
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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Cool Guy on Tue Nov 22, 2011 12:04 am

Also, Tox is currently 13 years old.

I go step on his testicles.
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Re: Mall Fight

Post by martintox on Tue Nov 22, 2011 12:10 am

Oh, thanks for telling that to everyone.

Well, I might as well have some dignity.

I scream like a girl.
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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Xandy on Tue Nov 22, 2011 12:14 am

I kill you both with my retractable spike-dick.

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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Cool Guy on Tue Nov 22, 2011 12:15 am

I randomly suck off Xan's dick and die again.

I respawn in the Subway and eat it's leg.
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Re: Mall Fight

Post by martintox on Tue Nov 22, 2011 12:22 am

I respawn in the lobby.

"Xandus." (Me)

I enter a "Dangerous Vintage Item" store and steal Uranium samples out of Gilbert Atomic Energy Lab sets (Yes, that actually exists).
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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Cool Guy on Tue Nov 22, 2011 12:25 am

"Dude, your not gonna win if you use use real life shit." I say as I piss on a cactus. It turns out it was Xan's dick. "Ooooo, hawt." I say as I use all 20 of my piss points.
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Re: Mall Fight

Post by martintox on Tue Nov 22, 2011 12:27 am

I puke on the Uranium samples, which somehow makes them stick together into a ball of Puke-ranium.
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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Tue Nov 22, 2011 8:32 am

I steal a delorean fro the Delorean shop. I then use my IRN BRU to transform it into a TIME MACHINE. Using which, I travel back into the far reaches of time and space. When I return, we are in a shopping centre in Britain (not some fucking yankeee piece-).

Oh and I cut of Xandus' spike dick using a bowler hat or some shit...

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Re: Mall Fight

Post by martintox on Tue Nov 22, 2011 12:36 pm

My French Revolution instincts kick in, and I start burning shit down.
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Re: Mall Fight

Post by Xandy on Tue Nov 22, 2011 12:55 pm

My severed spike-dick comes to life and lunges through you.

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Re: Mall Fight

Post by martintox on Tue Nov 22, 2011 1:07 pm

I respawn in the TF2 store, where I change to the Sniper class.

I cover Xandus in Jarate and shoot an arrow between his eyes, when I get killed by his sentient spike dick again.
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Re: Mall Fight

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