Idea!

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Idea!

Post by Furburt on Sun Oct 23, 2011 9:12 am

Film idea. Has probably been thought of before but I thought of it now so ha.

Ridiculously dark modern version of Home Alone. Hopefully with same cast.

Traumatized by his experiences in Chicago and New York from the first two films, Kevin McAllister (Macaulay Culkin, the age he is now) has become a paranoid, mentally ill shut in, living alone in his old parents house, surrounded by firearms.

Of the burglars from the original, Harry (Joe Pesci), is practically braindead from a hemorrhage brought on by one of Kevin's traps. Marv, the other burglar, who secretly harbours homosexual tendencies towards Harry, blames Kevin for it and vows to kill him.

He catches Kevin out in the open for the first time in months, and after an exciting chase, they find themselves back at Kevin's house, where he leads Marv on a protracted chase around the house with the many traps he has set up, half Home Alone, half Saw. Marv is dumped, bloody and twitching out on the front lawn just as the cops arrive, and Kevin takes as many of them down as he can with traps and sniper fire until being shot by a police marksman.

Ideas for filler scenes include a scene where Kevin looks in the mirror and sees the old man from the first film (Who it turns out did murder his whole family), a scene where Kevin's bullying older brother Buzz turns up to try to make amends and Kevin kicks the shit out of him, and blurry flashbacks remembering Home Alone 1 and 2 as far darker than they were.

It'll never get made, but it's nice to dream.

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Re: Idea!

Post by NightSwimming on Sun Oct 23, 2011 12:05 pm

Oh man! It's a dream film! Plus, Culkin already looks the part as a result of his drug and alcohol lavished lifestyle.

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Re: Idea!

Post by MilkyFresh on Sun Oct 23, 2011 12:37 pm

That's beautiful genius.

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Re: Idea!

Post by LordCuthberton on Mon Oct 24, 2011 11:22 am

I would pay to see it.

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Re: Idea!

Post by PayJ on Mon Oct 24, 2011 12:09 pm

Sounds pretty good. Will there be an uber sexy female burglar he captures?

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Re: Idea!

Post by Furburt on Mon Oct 24, 2011 12:16 pm

No, too Hollywoody.

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Re: Idea!

Post by PayJ on Mon Oct 24, 2011 12:20 pm

Ok ok, what about instead of opening credits you simply play 15 minutes of hardcore pornography?

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Re: Idea!

Post by MilkyFresh on Mon Oct 24, 2011 12:23 pm

That's an excellent idea. With jazz.

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Re: Idea!

Post by MilkyFresh on Mon Oct 24, 2011 12:23 pm

Or hardcore punk, either works.

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Re: Idea!

Post by Furburt on Mon Oct 24, 2011 12:24 pm

PayJ567 wrote:Ok ok, what about instead of opening credits you simply play 15 minutes of hardcore pornography?

WHAT A STATEMENT

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Re: Idea!

Post by PayJ on Mon Oct 24, 2011 12:26 pm

Then just zoom out from the porn and it's playing in a tv and the main character is watching it.

Argue it's an integral part to the film, get the film rated 12A using your Jewish allies.

Controversy 101.

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Re: Idea!

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Mon Oct 24, 2011 12:28 pm

I have an idea for an alternative ending.

After getting shot in the stomach, Kevin is bleeding heavily. He mutters to himself an extensive monologue along the lines of "I spent my whole life condemned by fear. Hunted by nothing other than my own foolish paranoia. At last they have penetrated my last bastion and now the end is nigh..." At which, he runs for the door. He shunts through but outside he is surrounded by police officers. All aiming at him. He shuffles forward slowly, until he is standing in the centre of the lawn.

He cries "ALONE NO MORE!" pulling a pair of Tek9s and spraying into the crowd. Slow motion follows. Cars explode, police are strewn over the pavement etc. Insane amount of bullets send him back to against the wall of his house. Breathing his last breath, the police approach slowly and upon reaching his lead-filled body, he pulls a length of string, which appears to attached to a series of grenade pins.

Sorry man I want a last stand!

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Re: Idea!

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Mon Oct 24, 2011 12:29 pm

PayJ567 wrote:Then just zoom out from the porn and it's playing in a tv and the main character is watching it.

Argue it's an integral part to the film, get the film rated 12A using your Jewish allies.

Controversy 101.

Genius.

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Re: Idea!

Post by MilkyFresh on Mon Oct 24, 2011 12:30 pm

No last stand. Only grim, undignified death. If at all possible it should be in a puddle.

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Re: Idea!

Post by Furburt on Mon Oct 24, 2011 12:33 pm

I like the "Alone no more" and the final trap involving grenades somehow. However, I feel Kevin should not be too supernaturally talented at killing, just desperate and with a lot of time on his hands.

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Re: Idea!

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Mon Oct 24, 2011 12:34 pm

Furburt wrote:I like the "Alone no more" and the final trap involving grenades somehow. However, I feel Kevin should not be too supernaturally talented at killing, just desperate and with a lot of time on his hands.

That's true... I think I just gave it a Red Dead ending...

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Re: Idea!

Post by PayJ on Mon Oct 24, 2011 12:49 pm

He should fend off the police. Lock himself in and try to enjoy a banana split but he chokes on it.

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Re: Idea!

Post by MilkyFresh on Mon Oct 24, 2011 12:49 pm

He should shit himself just before he dies, and it should be very graphic.

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Re: Idea!

Post by Mr. Wiggles on Mon Oct 24, 2011 12:50 pm

PayJ567 wrote:He should fend off the police. Lock himself in and try to enjoy a banana split but he chokes on it.

A tragedy that would make Shakespeare weep with shame.

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Re: Idea!

Post by PayJ on Mon Oct 24, 2011 12:52 pm

MilkyFresh wrote:He should shit himself just before he dies, and it should be very graphic.
This.

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Re: Idea!

Post by Furburt on Mon Oct 24, 2011 1:00 pm

He should shit a banana split and die from the shock.

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Re: Idea!

Post by MilkyFresh on Mon Oct 24, 2011 1:01 pm

There should be a roadtrip montage scene.

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Re: Idea!

Post by PayJ on Mon Oct 24, 2011 1:01 pm

Then instead of ending credits I want to watch half an hour of brain surgery.

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Re: Idea!

Post by MilkyFresh on Mon Oct 24, 2011 1:01 pm

Genius

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Re: Idea!

Post by Furburt on Mon Oct 24, 2011 1:01 pm

This is rapidly becoming a completely different film.

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Re: Idea!

Post by MilkyFresh on Mon Oct 24, 2011 1:03 pm

Culkin should be naked the entire film.

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Re: Idea!

Post by PayJ on Mon Oct 24, 2011 1:06 pm

I want a ghetto scene so we can market to film to blacks aswell.

Show in the trailer a positive portrayal of blacks.

But in the film I want some of the following:

A 5 minute KKK recruitment video

The main character gunning down an entire ghetto's worth of blacks with no remorse

A 20 minute section on how the blacks caused WTC.

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Re: Idea!

Post by PayJ on Mon Oct 24, 2011 1:07 pm

Culkin laughing at the Red Cross helps Africa advert.

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Re: Idea!

Post by Furburt on Mon Oct 24, 2011 1:10 pm

It'll certainly turn some heads.

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Re: Idea!

Post by MilkyFresh on Mon Oct 24, 2011 1:11 pm

You should dub over the whole movie in yiddish, then make that the only available version. Destroy the original.

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Re: Idea!

Post by PayJ on Mon Oct 24, 2011 1:16 pm

I smell academy awards.

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Re: Idea!

Post by Furburt on Mon Oct 24, 2011 1:17 pm

Replace every third word with "PALESTINE TERRORISTS"

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Re: Idea!

Post by PayJ on Mon Oct 24, 2011 1:22 pm

"Accidentally" slip in the footage of the director killing a hooker.

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Re: Idea!

Post by Guest on Mon Oct 24, 2011 2:56 pm

Rip that scene straight out of 'funny games', where the kid dies and the family slowly move about while crying for 15 minutes.

God knows people can;t get enough of that shit.

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Re: Idea!

Post by Pararaptor on Tue Oct 25, 2011 6:11 am

No.
There shall be no mention of that atrocity ever. I want it no-one to know it ever existed!

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Re: Idea!

Post by Alkaline on Tue Oct 25, 2011 10:25 pm


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Re: Idea!

Post by Terria on Tue Oct 25, 2011 10:35 pm

On Mellow Leprechauns? Never!

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Re: Idea!

Post by Katzenjammer on Wed Oct 26, 2011 4:11 am


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Re: Idea!

Post by Cool Guy on Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:08 am

I could fap to this movie if it's awesomeness came to light!

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Re: Idea!

Post by Xandy on Sun Nov 27, 2011 3:33 pm

When the protagonist dies he must land face first in a pile of his own shit while overly-bombastic dramatic music plays. Also Marv should be a long-nosed jew who makes pedophilic remarks at least once every scene.

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